In her latest book, Tenacious Grace, Jenna Barbosa unpacks how our beliefs can lead to unhealthy behaviors including emotional eating. Jenna is a coach, counselor, author, and speaker who helps people overcome by examining their hearts and beliefs. Join us on this episode to hear Jenna’s story and be challenged towards growth by more closely examining your own beliefs!
Jenna’s personal mission is to inspire resilience in people and lead them to the heart of Jesus. She does this through her writing, coaching, counseling, and speaking. Jenna recently started a nonprofit organization called Resilient Ministries while recovering from COVID-19. Her mission is to help you build better relationships with yourself, with God, and with others. Follow Jenna to find out more!
Discover more about our guests:
Follow Jenna on Facebook @inspireresiliencenow
Follow Jenna on Instagram @inspire_resilience
Favorite quotes from the episode:
“Going through hard stuff in life has gotten me to the point where I can be me.”
“When it comes to overcoming an emotional struggle that’s tapping us, it’s important to realize we didn’t get here overnight and we’re not going to get out of here overnight.”
“We need somebody outside of ourselves to give us new information.”
“Needing counseling is not a ‘crazy’ issue. It’s a human issue.”
“We leave so much texture out of our relationships because of fear or comparison.”
“I’m not responsible for another human’s emotions. But I am responsible for how my behaviors affect their emotions.”
“What we do with change, that’s something good!”
“Doing relationship God’s way, with intentionality and clarity, sets you on a completely different trajectory.”
“Counseling takes you from past hurt into present healing. Coaching takes you from present healing into future growth.”
“Strong leaders have their own strong leaders. Strong counselors have their own strong counselors”
“The way to build true community is to serve people and to be serving with people.”
Fun things from the episode:
Follow Now That's Something Good: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
Share your thoughts: podcast@sarahgood.com
Now That's Something Good Podcast by Sarah Good is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0
Show notes may contain affiliate links. This is at no extra cost to you but does help support telling more stories that bring more good. Now that is something good! Thank you for your kind support.
In her latest book, Tenacious Grace, Jenna Barbosa unpacks how our beliefs can lead to unhealthy behaviors including emotional eating. Jenna is a coach, counselor, author, and speaker who helps people overcome by examining their hearts and beliefs. Join us on this episode to hear Jenna’s story and be challenged towards growth by more closely examining your own beliefs!
Jenna’s personal mission is to inspire resilience in people and lead them to the heart of Jesus. She does this through her writing, coaching, counseling, and speaking. Jenna recently started a nonprofit organization called Resilient Ministries while recovering from COVID-19. Her mission is to help you build better relationships with yourself, with God, and with others. Follow Jenna to find out more!
Discover more about our guests:
Follow Jenna on Facebook @inspireresiliencenow
Follow Jenna on Instagram @inspire_resilience
Favorite quotes from the episode:
“Going through hard stuff in life has gotten me to the point where I can be me.”
“When it comes to overcoming an emotional struggle that’s tapping us, it’s important to realize we didn’t get here overnight and we’re not going to get out of here overnight.”
“We need somebody outside of ourselves to give us new information.”
“Needing counseling is not a ‘crazy’ issue. It’s a human issue.”
“We leave so much texture out of our relationships because of fear or comparison.”
“I’m not responsible for another human’s emotions. But I am responsible for how my behaviors affect their emotions.”
“What we do with change, that’s something good!”
“Doing relationship God’s way, with intentionality and clarity, sets you on a completely different trajectory.”
“Counseling takes you from past hurt into present healing. Coaching takes you from present healing into future growth.”
“Strong leaders have their own strong leaders. Strong counselors have their own strong counselors”
“The way to build true community is to serve people and to be serving with people.”
Fun things from the episode:
Follow Now That's Something Good: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
Share your thoughts: podcast@sarahgood.com
Now That's Something Good Podcast by Sarah Good is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0
Show notes may contain affiliate links. This is at no extra cost to you but does help support telling more stories that bring more good. Now that is something good! Thank you for your kind support.
Sarah:
[1:28] Hey guys welcome back to the show I am so excited for you to meet my friend Jenna Jenna thanks for being here.
Jenna:
[1:34] Thanks for having me I am super excited to just hang with you for a while.
Sarah:
[1:39] I love it so Jin that I've actually we've already been hanging out for a little bit so this is a little different we need to catch up right,
and let me just tell you guys you are in for a treat my friend Jenna is
an incredible person incr incredible human being I know you're going to be so blessed by what she shares with us today but Jen and I have a lot of fun together so I
I feel like there's these be a little disclaimer from the beginning right Jenna that people just don't know what they're getting themselves into right now so just hang with us.
It's going to be fun so did it just start off tell us a little about who you are your life your world or whatever you want to tell us.
Jenna:
[2:13] Yeah well thanks so much for all that sweet words and yeah guys you just don't even know.
It provides just buckle up.
Sarah:
[2:21] Yes buckle up.
Jenna:
[2:22] Oh man no I'm definitely very excited to be here and absolutely just love our friendship and it's super exciting so about me let's see I am.
I love her who just loves the beaches and the Long Walk no kidding I'm getting um no my name is Jenna of course you know and I am 36 I'm going to be 37 it's like freaking me out a little bit Sarah but you know what,
like I feel like I'm in my Prime like I feel like I just kind of know a little bit more about myself and I'm like okay this is good we're going to just rock it into the.
Sarah:
[2:56] Yes when's your birthday okay so you're coming up okay I'm a little older than you so so far I mean it's good 37.
Jenna:
[3:03] Yeah totally I'm claiming it no but I am an emotional Freedom coach and I am author speaker,
do some biblical counseling on the side just as like a certified kind of mentor and then.
Oh man I just I love all things creative and just have a big passion you know my personal mission is just to inspire resilience and people and lead them to the Heart of Jesus and so I,
I hope that whenever people encounter me they kind of get that Vibe that's really what I try to be consistent with and man I just have a lot of fun and.
Just kind of do my thing out there I really think that going through some hard stuff in life has gotten me to the point to where I'm able to say like you know what this is mean like.
And but I'm able to have confidence in kind of what I bring to the table and it's exciting to just learn from others and all that good stuff so yeah so that's kind of just high-level about me.
Sarah:
[4:00] You've got a you are a woman who wears many hats and I love.
Jenna:
[4:03] Thanks yeah it definitely I have a hat box in my brain but no I actually love it that way more so than just staying in one thing.
It's that kind of my career up a little bit to where I was able to do that and have some versatility so.
Sarah:
[4:22] I love it okay well before we dive into some of these things and we're going to be I don't even know what we're going to go we're going to go all over the place and just see where the conversation goes.
Jenna:
[4:30] Like I said buckle up.
Sarah:
[4:31] Yeah it's gonna be great yes buckle up.
Stay with us okay Jenna I feel like though to start people need to know like how do we know each other do you want to tell this to remember I mean okay tell the story.
Jenna:
[4:43] So Fearless women is an organization that we volunteer with and.
Plug for Phyllis women y'all need to go check it out it's about fear at dealing with fear and anxiety helping you be equipped and our good friend Christy boulware is founder and president of that and it's just amazing so they were doing a.
Conference and so are other good friend Katie Bynum poor sweet thing got sick like the so she in,
yeah poor thing like we emceed so Katie and I were the MCS for the first day,
and then sweet Katie got sick that night and couldn't come back the second day and then Christie pulled you in and then I had like heard of you I think we just like I've heard of each other but we never really connected
and so all of a sudden she's like are you guys to our MCN together and we just like
instantaneously kind of clicked with our personalities and we're like oh do we got this like God.
Sarah:
[5:36] We had so much fun I don't know if anybody else had fun with us but we were having the time of our.
Jenna:
[5:40] We really were we're like okay we're either gonna like get up there and just talk the whole way and like forget what we actually have to say or we're going to like yeah just totally run it off so.
Sarah:
[5:52] It was fun we kind of became I feel like professional MCS after that I mean we did.
Jenna:
[5:56] Right because we did a few more of the conferences and meetings and yeah but you know I I've never emptied before and yeah that was my first time seeing.
Sarah:
[6:04] Was that your first time what I've only done a little bit but I feel like we I mean so if anybody needs MCS Jen and I are pretty much professional MCS now so feel free to reach out to us and we'll come and see here of it.
Jenna:
[6:16] Yes yes and we are fun we bring the fun.
Sarah:
[6:19] That's true that is very very true but that was fun it started this kind of cool relationship friendship and here we are so okay Jenna we got.
I even know where to start because there's so many great things I want to hear I do want to start you in 2020 officially became an author you've written things before but like a published book,
amazing I actually got to I mean that was super fun for me is you launching your book you asked me to kind of come help do your launch party and it was a highlight for me in 2020 for sure just to get the to deal with.
Talk about the book tenacious Grace and just kind of where it came from and then whatever of the story that kind of LED you to the material of that book.
Jenna:
[6:58] Yeah definitely yeah that was so fun to do that launch with you talked about him seeing you were in seeing that thing like a champ for me it was really fun,
we had a really great time doing that but yes it was so crazy to be able to launch a book in 2020
and the midst of all this craziness with a pandemic and you know but it was so cool so the book is tenacious Grace like you said redefine your relationship with food and end emotional eating and so it is a journey that I have walked through and
it's so cool that God's timing is just so perfect right Sarah because.
[7:34] Literally if I would have published last year when I was on set to or outset you know on course to publish but I lost like some data and it pushed my whole timeline back like six to seven to eight months and I was just beside myself,
you know looking back on it God's timing was perfect because if I would have launched it in 2018 I would have had to very,
very actively start a conversation around emotional eating,
in 2020 when everybody is in quarantine and realizing oh my gosh I'm just eating my feelings all the time because I'm home and bored and stress and anxiety and all these things everybody starts talking about emotional eating on social media and like laughing about it,
and so I literally,
got to step into a conversation that was already happening and it just was like God that is so you right to just roll the red carpet out and and allow yes and pain in my life with the frustration of the timeline and all that good stuff but.
[8:29] Man to step into that conversation was really powerful for me to just see very effectively God's timing how perfect it is,
yeah the book really came from my own honestly my own frustration you know I've struggled with food really since mid 20s when I was.
When I was in a just a toxic relationship and really just kind of got connected with like okay food is the the one thing I feel like I can control which it ends up controlling you when it's from an emotional place that,
is not you know meant to meet emotional needs it you know it can bring joy when you're gathering around the table and breaking bread together whatever but.
[9:09] It was I was using it to cope with major emotions within me that I didn't understand,
so with that Dynamic I really started struggling and put on a lot of weight during that relationship and just lost,
literally lost a lot of myself and really just didn't understand where I couldn't get back on board with the whole like diet and exercise and was just like why don't you know I'd start for seven days and I'd fall off the bandwagon I was like what the heck is wrong and.
[9:39] So it just you know it got to a point where I was like okay God there's got to be something different because
we know how to lose weight and eat healthy and put on muscle and gain weight and like you know we know how to
change our body to a healthier Dynamic whatever Spectrum you're on to begin with so it's like the how is not the answer,
obviously it is an answer but it's like there's something missing because why do we keep coming back around,
and getting back to square one and being like okay well I already did this journey now here I am again,
struggling and needing to find yet another how to program and I just was like I just don't want to live the rest of my life constantly chasing how to programs,
to overcome a struggle like there's definitely how to programs to help you stay healthy and you know do certain things you know like good detoxes or whatever,
but I really just was like I have got to figure out this different way and so it started not even as a book,
started as support groups and so I just was like you know I know girlfriends who struggle with this let's just get together I'm a vocal processor and if you have not noticed.
Sarah:
[10:47] Yes yes.
Jenna:
[10:48] And so I'm like I just got to talk it out and I know that they are struggling to let's just get together and figure this out so I got about six to seven women for the first group,
together and as I was kind of preparing for like questions to ask and before I knew it I could not get the the curriculum out fast enough God was just downloading these like questions and the structure to it and all that stuff and so.
We did one group it was it started out as like a 21 week group and it's dialed down to like a 12-week type of course now but.
We went through the first group and then the second group and at the end of the second group God was just really showing me like you you have a book here like now you need to get the like the grit and the me.
Of what I'm teaching you and your heart about all these things that you're applying to your own life and seeing some Freedom happen,
out to the world and so I went back and reformatted the curriculum into a book and then,
took the next three years and you know it was totally God thing Sarah because I was also doing my master's program in business and writing a book and I was like I am an insane person talk about wearing many hats.
Like you want me to what God.
Sarah:
[12:03] Yes yeah.
Jenna:
[12:04] But it was beautiful though how it worked together and some you know behind the scene details of how that worked but,
getting the book together and getting that out there was really was really a powerful thing because I learned a lot about myself,
writing process and so that's really where the book came from it started as a support group just to be able to get answers to saying like hey I'm a fellow struggler I'm not saying I know all the answers here let's figure it out together,
let's get in the trenches together and just be like what the heck is happening here that we just keep circling back around so that's where the book came from.
Sarah:
[12:39] I love it so just okay Jenna tell us real quick just so if people don't know or they're new to like what emotional eating just can you kind of give us like what's the quick textbook definition of emotional eating or what you use just so everybody kind of all on the same page.
Jenna:
[12:52] Yeah that's really good so I kind of in a funny way we'll say if you are at a party and you're in the room with people chatting and the food is in the kitchen and you hear it talking to you.
Sarah:
[13:04] Okay that's a.
Jenna:
[13:05] Okay happened you're an emotional eater.
Sarah:
[13:07] Okay there's a lot of people probably going like virtually raising their hands or being like I've had that happen.
Jenna:
[13:15] Kids use so yeah that's really kind of where you just feel this like inordinate like.
Underlying pull toward food,
where it's just you think about it a little too much you feel a little too passionately about it like you know and like that that's just really where that is and truly emotional eating is where when you are trying to cope with an emotion.
That you a don't understand or be understand and are just coping with it and you're using food to do that is where that emotional eating really comes from so even in my book I talk about in the first chapter,
the difference of emotional eaters and Overeaters OK yep so like Overeaters are typically people who don't really have an emotional relationship with food they just,
maybe aren't on like they're just maybe not being intentional with what they're thinking and like listening to their body and they'll just kind of get stuffed in a meal and they'll be like oh man that was a lot and,
the next day they're back on track and just taking care of their body and doing what they need to do and listening to the body an emotional eater will basically have this mentality man I overate I feel bad I feel guilty now might as well just sabotaged the rest the week and just go ahead and eat,
the rest of the things and so it's yeah it's like one tire goes flat instead of fixing it you slice the other three tires and till you're fed up and you know.
So
Sarah:
[14:38] It's all in the book can you give us just like maybe one if somebody's listening and going like Hey Okay I I do struggle with this what do I do first of all get Jenna's book.
It's just great get that will give a plug will put it in the show notes where you can find it because there is so much just good helpful practice that just
when I was reading it to help me rethink like oh gosh like I didn't realize this was an issue or why it would be an issue reading it going okay but there's a lot of stereotypes you and I have talked about this before about like what.
Emotional eating looks like who it affects who it doesn't can you just talk a little bit about like who does let's start there who does emotional eating.
Jenna:
[15:16] Yeah so it affects anybody who has emotions.
Sarah:
[15:21] Ding ding ding.
Jenna:
[15:23] Anybody who has emotion.
So no but for real like you know it's not it's not a body issue,
it's really a heart issue and it's a need for security or a need for Love at it's very core and so,
if you are somebody who you know I've had like I've had women who are in the groups that are like straight-up bodybuilder women and
I mean it really blew my stereotype out when I first started because I had my second group I had this woman who came in and she was a bodybuilder and a personal trainer and literally like it put me to shame because I was I looked at her and I was like what the heck are you doing here,
because me being more on overweight side like pretty much my whole adult life I,
just immediately thought it was like an overweight person issue you know not like or like somebody who had like an actual eating disorder who had you know major disordered eating and so,
when I saw her I was like what are you doing in here and it but getting to know her and getting dollar I didn't ask for that but like.
Sarah:
[16:35] That was a rhetorical question.
Jenna:
[16:37] I say I and my brain,
but you know getting to know her and getting to know her story I was like oh yeah that makes sense because any time food takes on more,
power than it was intended to have that is when it connects internally to a security place that really is intended for God and you can replace food in my book with something else,
you know whether it's drugs whether its dependence on substance or behavior or a person like it's something that we give,
power to that God did not intend for that thing or that person to have.
Sarah:
[17:14] That's good Jenna I know like we're getting ready to start a new year actually when we recording this this is the last day of 2020 which is crazy,
partly ready to say good riddens and but that's okay that's we'll talk about that a minute,
you know it is very culturally at least in the United States that a lot of people have a goal to either I want to lose weight this next year I want to get healthier and I feel like a lot of the language has changed least somewhat of like hey let's be healthier maybe not,
we put better language in terms to it which is good,
but if somebody's like hey I'm kind of seeing a pattern here maybe I've got some problems what would be like a first step that somebody could take to just kind of start moving in the right direction of overcoming,
emotional eating or.
Jenna:
[17:56] Yeah I think that besides getting my book no.
Sarah:
[18:00] Besides reading Jenna's book do that.
Jenna:
[18:02] Honestly I think the very first thing would be a paradigm shift I would encourage every single person to commit to a process versus a result,
because we live in a culture that is very result-driven and there is a time and place for results like I have very much of an achiever type of Personality where results are important when it comes to overcoming an internal struggle,
that is emotionally tapping us out we've got to recognize we did not get here overnight so we're not going to get out of here overnight.
Sarah:
[18:35] That's that's good you need to say that again.
Jenna:
[18:37] We did not get here overnight so we are not going to get out of here overnight oh my God.
Sarah:
[18:40] Good because we often so think like I'm going to start this and why do so many New Year's goals fail because you know January 2nd comes over like why didn't I lose 15 pounds over I worked out one time and it a chicken salad like why am I not really yes.
Jenna:
[18:53] Well and it's and I say this a lot if you've heard me speak anybody you've probably heard me say this but like we do what we know or we do what we believe we don't do what we know,
and so if I know that food is not going to fix an emotional need in my heart but I but I believe in the moment it will,
then if I just try to change the behavior that is attached to a belief I'm not going to get anywhere until I change what I believe right.
Sarah:
[19:18] Yeah that's good.
Jenna:
[19:20] And so we have a belief system that actually started in the garden and I talked about this in the book
Eve you know believed oh this fruit can give me something that actually only God can give me and so just there's some kind of,
deception there that we sometimes don't know what has happened,
we just all of a sudden are now believing okay so food can give me something that really is intended for God but if we don't take the time to look at those belief puzzle pieces,
we're basically trying to put a puzzle together and change the pieces how they fit together which is that workout piece or that diet piece,
we're trying to fit those together blindfolded and it just it's frustrating and it takes us forever and we don't we don't end up doing it successfully and so it has to be a shift,
from this like quick you know lose whatever pounds and whatever days and while yeah you can do that those programs work if you stick to them.
But it's a behavior change it's not a heart change and so really I always just tell anybody who's going through my book and this program is number one out of the gate you've got to commit to a process and not a result.
Sarah:
[20:32] That's huge that's huge Jenna just tell it so I know some of this all connects you started in 2020 it really has said wrote a book started a new year just telling me a new nonprofit tell us a little bit about this because they do kind of go hand in hand a little bit.
Jenna:
[20:46] Yeah absolutely so the nonprofit where we haven't like officially launched it launched it yet out there but we know we're going to give it to user your vitals.
Sarah:
[20:55] Scott stop seeing surprise sorry sorry sorry Jenna.
Jenna:
[21:00] Now it's mine is mine it'll be a good teaser I'm a big fan of like throwing information out there kind of you know what in the whistle no it's mine.
Sarah:
[21:10] You heard it here first folks.
Jenna:
[21:11] Speaking dead at the something good it's something good happen in it but it's not.
Sarah:
[21:16] I love it I love it.
Jenna:
[21:17] No it's good though it's a so it's gonna it's called resilient Ministries,
and really the mission behind resilient Ministries is to help you build better relationships with God self and others by teaching you how to experience Embrace and express your emotions.
And so the first program so it's going to be program based to where we have programs that we launched that help you dig deep we want to go deep not wide and so.
With the first program that we launched is going to be tenacious Grace so,
I just kind of put it underneath a non-profit so that we'd be able to really collaborate with other nonprofits in a bigger way to get out and deal with things we have one element of it that I'm super excited about its color its our outreach program,
and that's going to be where it filtrates into any program that we're doing and we look at what's out there so like the food right so we have a food issue with this so we want to be able to connect with people who struggle to find their next meal,
and get in and serve them and say how can we come into your community and,
feed you for a day or feed you or just attend to you serve you however that looks right or partner with nonprofits out there that are doing that.
Because often times when we are struggling with something one of the things not the only thing but one of the things that helps us overcome that is to serve in the very area that we're that were struggling.
[22:40] Because it gets us to a bigger perspective of our own issue and say I'm not the only one that struggles with this and mmm am I really looking at this and giving it way more power than it needs to have.
Because when we're misusing food and people are dying for their next meal,
you know and that's not a guilt trip don't hear me say that like you know I don't want to be like so cliche that's like oh people are dying and everything you know but there is a very real reality that when we were coping with something versus taking,
those needs to God to have him meet those and to be able to process them responsibly,
there is an accountability there you know it's something that we've got to put in perspective and so that is one thing that end with that it brings Joy because it's like it changes our perspective of the thing that were struggling with,
so we want to do that and so it's going to be fun we're going to launch it out probably I don't know when I'm going to say yet but.
Sarah:
[23:33] We don't want to hold you to.
Jenna:
[23:33] Beginning at 28 like beginning is she you know bit beginning middle of 2821 but.
Sarah:
[23:39] And are you as a part of the tenacious Grace is there do you still have like the support groups what's you offer other services about if people are kind of dealing or feeling like you know what maybe I have an emotional eating problem or want to know more outside of the book what else is there.
Jenna:
[23:54] Absolutely so we are changing up some model structure on that so instead of the support groups we're going to do courses,
so you can purchase quartet courses to be able to kind of just self-regulate like how when you study that but it gives you,
it gives you me on video so it'll be me teaching and giving you those courses so that you get,
the author of the book you get me to be able to kind of teach you through that in the course structure and then there will be monthly coaching calls at all Beyond to help walk you guys through some stuff and then,
also we are going to certify other people in to be coaches and so people will be tenacious Grace coaches and they can you know take people on his clients and you know so it's a good thing to be able to help them you know have some,
income coming in but also just to help other people with the same curriculum so we'll certified coaches and in each program
and then we'll also have just resilient Ministries the emotional Freedom it's going to be its own curriculum as well so there will be emotional Freedom coaches just like myself.
Sarah:
[24:55] So cool okay can we generate I thought for a second because we've had the idea of like coach has come up several times on our podcast recently and I feel like that is,
it's been going on like people have had life coaches or different things but I feel like it's becoming more common and I feel like maybe people still you know sometimes I would like well what would be the benefit of a coach so can you just talk about that in general I'm sure you hear about it with your count like just,
the board more than just even the coaches that you would have or for your program but like why would somebody what would be the benefit to that or somebody to be like hey I just need some extra help.
Jenna:
[25:27] Yeah definitely with the coaching industry it's definitely newer on kind of on the scene within the last I'd say like 20 years ish and,
really how I kind of differentiate counseling and coaching is really thin counting takes you from past hurt to present healing and coaching takes you from present healing to Future growth.
Sarah:
[25:48] Okay that's good okay I love.
Jenna:
[25:51] And so with the coaching obviously there's some stuff that still needs to happen within healing but if you think of think of surgery like if you if I if I break my ankle right now I go into the doctor.
He would be my counselor my physical therapist would be my coach and so sometimes with counseling not sometimes with counseling you need to get in there do the surgery part that's the healing part of that,
but then you have coaching that says okay I've had the surgery like I've gotten to a place to where,
I'm able to somewhat bi-functional right but I just need that extra person to tell me how to bend these certain emotional muscles how to think a little differently how to do this put some accountability in place,
and help build those muscles to support what has just been healed so.
Sarah:
[26:36] That makes so much that helps me.
Jenna:
[26:38] God.
Sarah:
[26:39] That's like a great I'm gonna have to use that done my friend Jenna who's very smart told me this is what it is because that makes you do like you can't really move forward with some of the life things that a coach would help with if you're still dealing with some of the other stuff that you need to kind of have some help with.
Jenna:
[26:53] Absolutely and with resilient Ministries will work very closely with True Vine Christian Services which is my family run agency,
that my mom is President my brother is CEO of and we work very closely with counseling so what happens is just ethically a coached and part of the certification will be teaching the coaches how to recognize signs,
where somebody is like oh gosh we just hit something.
Brought up some memories and okay we need to pause and we need to get you into some counseling to kind of work through that get some surgery done and then come back to the coaching so we're going to work very closely with them to be able to help,
give resources that is needed and help the clients.
Sarah:
[27:33] Okay that's huge because I feel like everybody listening I mean I think sometimes like we hear these terms and,
Archer okay Jenna let's talk about the counseling part 2 because that is something that has come up a lot on our show we are huge will and I are huge just.
We need help and there's nothing wrong with that but I do still feel like sometimes in our world there's a little bit of a stigma still even though I think great
strides have been made to kind of bust down those myths or anything like that there's something wrong with you if you need counseling but can you just talk to us a little bit about like why
why counseling is such a needed thing and just,
I mean we would tell people anybody like whether you think you need like just even coming in for like a tune-up just,
go check so can you just talk a little bit about their help me break down some of the stereotypes are myths about counseling or I'm going to see a counselor,
what I'll I'm sure you hear it all.
Jenna:
[28:26] Yeah totally totally huh yeah you know counseling is so important because really at the core of it we don't know what we don't know.
Sarah:
[28:35] That's good.
Jenna:
[28:37] If I said hey Sarah what is the square root of nine hundred ninety nine.
Sarah:
[28:41] No clue where a strong.
Jenna:
[28:45] But aren't you supposed ah right.
Sarah:
[28:47] I don't know.
Jenna:
[28:50] But even I mean that's just you know a simple you know kind of picture of it but you just we cannot know what we just don't know,
so sometime it so say if you know well was over here going like oh I know and he's gone tell you and then I'm like okay Sarah now taught me anybody okay now I know.
So we need somebody outside of ourselves to give us new information and information is power information allows us to see differently it's like the glasses for our souls.
Sarah:
[29:17] Yes yes.
Jenna:
[29:19] And so we're able to see a different lens of what is happening beneath the surface,
and there are times where we see you know in the counseling relationships with our clients that they're saying I would have never been able to see that if you would not have pointed that out.
Sarah:
[29:35] Mmm Yeah.
Jenna:
[29:38] But it makes so much sense and then they are able to take that information see their selves differently see that soul level need differently and move forward in healing and freedom.
So it is something that has a definitely a negative connotation to it it also is newer on the scene the insurance companies have just within the last probably like 15 to 20 years as well really gotten to where they give mental health behavioral health policies.
So it's just it's always had a stigma right like you know if you need,
mental health and you are a crazy person or you know and that a lot of clinical mental health has those you know bigger diagnosis out,
our that scare people because a they don't know about those diagnosis so we also fear what we don't know.
And so the more information again information is power right so the more information about the mental health field is out there the more people release that stigma about it and recognize it's not a crazy issue,
it's a human issue because we all have brains and we all have neurological connections that happen with our emotions,
and experiences that we go through in life and so part of that too is really looking and saying you know counseling is something that is needed for people who need help you know if you were sick you go to a physical doctor,
if you you know are financially sick you go to a financial doctor you know as a financial advisor.
Sarah:
[31:05] Yeah yeah yes.
Jenna:
[31:07] If you have something mentally that is not I don't want to be mentally sick but like if mentally you're struggling to understand.
Sarah:
[31:17] Yeah yeah.
Jenna:
[31:17] Something you go to a mental health counselor who helps you to see what you're thinking through differently.
Sarah:
[31:24] I love that Jenna that's huge because I think so many times we do they're still just this kind of stink I mean and it's not even
anybody around us sometimes it's less we we have this I mean for me that would be my big like you know I well I don't really need help or I should just be able to get over this or if I just wait a couple more weeks maybe it will it will get better,
in oftentimes,
get better on its own and it's like hey let's go talk to somebody who knows a little more like you said that has the right lenses to help us see in the right perspective so
Jim talked a little bit so like why why did you get into counseling in the first place why what happened where tell me that I don't I don't even know that's time you never told me.
Jenna:
[32:01] Yeah yeah so we so my mom actually went back when she was 35 for counseling and,
she like went back for her degree and so we grew up kind of seeing her get into the mental health field
and you know honestly I think it's just a big calling over our family my whole family are counselors other than my dad like but he's a counselor like,
two people you know but not he's like not a professional counselor but it's just a big calling I think to but really,
my my brother went into it and then in college I was leaning toward that like I was kind of you know we're always the people that people come to her like hey help me with this.
Sarah:
[32:42] Yes yes.
Jenna:
[32:43] So we just had a passion for it right and so in college I started going that way but then I was like I don't want to do just what my family's do and I kind of rebelled against it but God used it,
so what actually mine is little different I'm not an actual licensed professional counselor I'm I have certified training in biblical counseling so it's more along kind of a counseling Mentor type of,
but not actually like a licensed counselor so it's different training I decided when I was saying earlier how I kind of set my career up to be able to do a bunch of different,
I went for my masters and non profit of more nonprofit organization,
and administration and that way I'm able to like do all the business you stay that my heart loves but I'm also to step into mentorship and counseling in that and that lane,
and to do it from the worldview of the biblical worldview which is just what I have found in my own personal life that is what brings the most amount of healing,
and mix it in with the psychological training that I do have within my bachelor's program.
Sarah:
[33:44] I loved it God's called you into so many different fun Avenues and it's cool to see him getting to do that okay Jenna I feel like this it because we are recording on the last day.
Jenna:
[33:53] Yes.
Sarah:
[33:54] The people here this sometime in January 2020 has definitely been a year.
Jenna:
[33:59] Yes.
Sarah:
[33:59] For all of us like everybody has endured covid the pandemic unilateral across,
Lord we have all had this so what would you say Jenna I feel like
well let's start here what has been the most surprising thing that you feel like you want to share about that has happened that's come out of 2020 cuz I feel like there's been a lot of hard and you could we could say both sides of it because I mean and we can hold both I think,
biggest things I've learned even more this year he's like to,
very strong emotions that are opposing can actually reside in the same space something can be very hard and you can also have joy in the midst of it you can be sad and have happiness so we can celebrate both but tell me something like where have you just been surprised with something out of 2020.
Jenna:
[34:40] Um well I would say that the biggest thing honestly is.
That's a good question like,
because there's been so many good things the most recent thing is just God gifting me a new man a new relationship and that honestly I think has kind of been you know.
Really the Pinnacle of this year seeing that you know I talked earlier about God's timing being so perfect and this year,
you know I started it out with really struggling with imposter syndrome like getting ready to publish a book,
saying like you know like should I just wait to do this until I lose all my weight.
Sarah:
[35:22] Mmm Yeah.
Jenna:
[35:22] Called you know diet culture mentality right and then Gods like not your weight does not qualify do you to speak truth,
I qualify you as God to speak truth and so had you know really struggle with that and then.
But also being super excited so that same you know big strong emotions like I have this fear but then I also have this passion,
so struggled through that got the book out there and then from there then face the next big hurdle for me was my sister who was 10 years younger than me getting married before me.
Sarah:
[35:51] Okay okay.
Jenna:
[35:52] And I didn't have a guy yet I didn't have my Johnny and Johnny is his name FYI people.
Sarah:
[35:57] Hahaha.
Jenna:
[35:58] Um but I you know I didn't have Johnny yet and I,
was very much struggling with God's plan like God what the heck like you know and we kind of like I saw you one of my next book is going to be called just stop shooting all over yourself like because we shouldn't you know like.
We like I was just shooting all over that situation like I should be the first one you know she shouldn't have like I should have been able to come out of the gate and have that you know all that stuff and so God was really challenging me with that kind of.
[36:32] Sheds and in the meantime bringing just more trauma stuff from my past to the surface and,
having to lean into my own counselor right like so strong leaders have their own leaders and strong counselors have their own counselors and like those type of things and so I was like okay.
[36:49] God we got to get this dealt with and so he got me back up on the surgery table I talked about that a lot,
God surgery table that needs to be another book probably the plight of an author I have like 20 bucks in either right now but I just was you know God really got me back up on that surgery table and did some major major deep level like I feel like we were like.
Getting bloody knuckles we were scraping the bottom of that,
Heart level thing and that my sister's wedding really kind of brought out and so talked about those two fears like at her wedding day,
I struggled so badly to have the the pain put into its place and have such immense amount of joy for her,
that it was an internal battle thank God through God's grace and you know God talks about how his grace is so sufficient especially in our time of weakness,
I did not feel that battle that day I felt it the day before and the day after but the day of her wedding God's grace was so over me that I was able to fully reside in so much joy for her,
and enjoy all the moments even watching my dad walk her down the aisle you know like those moments I thought I was going to be ripped apart inside you know,
I was so ecstatic for her and.
Beyond ecstatic for my sister to have the love of her life marrying him in front of all the people that she loves and has loved her and prayed for her and him so.
[38:12] Anyway with that that was really something that God showed me like these it's like a dichotomy right of having the.
The two different emotions existing in one space I love that you said that but you know so anyway he took me through a lot of that trauma healing work and then kind of right out of the gate of that then I come down covid and have actual covid-19.
Sarah:
[38:31] Oh boy.
Jenna:
[38:33] Yeah you know got covid for and it was out for three weeks and I tell you what in the midst of those three weeks I had been kind of talking online with a couple guys and was just kind of seeing like you know what was out there type of thing and,
I just was like this isn't it like does not what God has for me like these guys definitely,
run hard after Jesus and don't you know are not showing Pursuit like they need to and I just felt in my gut like I was just being bored.
And so during those three weeks of covid I cut all ties with all the guys well not all the guys like I had like a huge amount of them haha.
Sarah:
[39:08] Ha ha ha all the guys.
Jenna:
[39:11] But cut the ties with those those two guys that I was talking to and,
cut ties and then that week that first week of covid just really rested in Jesus and resting and just being sick,
and then that second end of that second or end of the second week then I was really praying like okay God what do you want from my life this next year like I'm doing all these things how do I streamline it into one and he'd already been working on kind of the idea of like resilient Ministries and stuff like that,
and then week three filed for the nonprofit and launched it and third week of having covid yeah.
Sarah:
[39:41] Why you heck Jenna you are an overachiever you're writing a book and your Masters and you have covid you're starting a non-profit I got nothing to share from the shoots good I've done nothing that's good.
Jenna:
[39:54] Oh yeah so I am funny so you know came out of covid and then literally probably like a couple weeks later,
I met Johnny and God just really has,
shown a man who you know he's we're both in perfect we're both human we're learning it's still new but.
I can tell you this doing it God's way and doing it intentional.
With Clarity versus confusion sets you on a completely different trajectory not even the same like it's a whole different Railroad Station like you are just on a whole different path in your relationship when you are.
Connecting on all cylinders and doing it God's way God's design for just relationship in general and putting God.
Sarah:
[40:43] I feel like we got to talk about that for just second so you did spend and you've done some single Ministry,
I feel like there we've got some incredible listeners out there that are just are not married yet are either for what or you know fill in the blank for whatever reason why they are currently single and I know sometimes our culture and world is,
super,
great to that either so like what would you say first of all I guess like what encouragement would you just give somebody right now who's out there like maybe struggling or maybe they're I mean because,
I think there's that false myth to that you have to be struggling with your singleness necessarily like that you can't be okay being alone and that's wrong right so just want to speak what would you say to anybody right now in that spot who's in the midst of singleness and.
Trying to figure it all out.
Jenna:
[41:28] Yeah I would really say hold the space for yourself like we were just talking about to wear,
multiple emotions can exist within the same space because as I you know I've been single for the last like three-and-a-half to four years and you know went on a couple dates here and there but really truly just single,
and there were many many ups and downs to where I was like completely not about my singleness and then there have been moments where I was like I am so glad I'm single.
Sarah:
[41:56] Yeah yeah.
Jenna:
[41:57] It's a again kind of that process mentality like it is something that you're going to go around the bend with multiple motions and so
you know and I think to like even still with this relationship being new I stop to remind myself like I'm still learning how to be
a girlfriend and potential wife because I'm so used to being single now and it's a shift and so anything that we're in we have to shift,
our expectations for it,
our expectations for our self our expectations for God and for others and so the biggest encouragement I would say,
maybe I can put it this way if I could go back even a month before I met Johnny to my single self I would say sweet girl God knows so perfectly what your heart needs.
Sarah:
[42:44] It's but huge yeah.
Jenna:
[42:46] On him and his timing and do the work while you are waiting.
Because I firmly believe and as an author this hold so much more wait for me what I'm about to say how you end one chapter,
is it sets up the next chapter.
Sarah:
[43:01] Okay okay.
Jenna:
[43:02] And I wish I don't think I ended my single career,
I don't think I ended my single Miss badly at all I think I ended it as a warrior who was bloodied and bruised but also.
Passionate about the fight that I just did right for the last 4 years especially coming out of very toxic relationship,
but I can guarantee you this I wish I would have ended it even stronger and even with more purpose.
Sarah:
[43:35] Yeah okay.
Jenna:
[43:36] And and pointedness to what it could mean for my heart.
Sarah:
[43:40] That's huge and I think so many people whether you're,
a young person way that you like your we have some teens my daughter was on the mushy 16 whether 16 17 18 early 20s or further along,
just that waiting space sometimes we want to rush hurry in Russia no matter where we're at in life right to whatever the next thing is and we missed really the cliched but the joy in the Journey of like hey what's going on right now and what does God want to do in and through us,
in these moments to get ready for the next chapter I love.
So Jen let me ask you this question so we do probably have a lot of people who are married or in relationships how can we,
best love our single friends because my brother was single for a while and he would come and tell me just all these horrible things that people would see you know well-meaning I don't think people were trying to be.
Jenna:
[44:28] Yeah we're trying to be.
Sarah:
[44:30] Jerks but like would just say stuff like what are some things that we could just do or you wish that people would have done better or have any advice or just encouragement on that.
Jenna:
[44:40] Yeah I really do I think I think this intentionality is a really big thing that's something that's just really big to me in general but,
especially like I actually just thought about this yesterday I think I was I was talking to a good friend of mine who is married and I was really like I was like oh we really didn't talk a whole lot when I was single and now we're talking a lot more because I'm,
with Johnny and I'm like hey help me process through this and help me process do that and I want to be a guy want to be a good girlfriend and not just you know just a crazy woman,
as I said we all gotta do some crazy now but you know I was just I had that thought of like hmm this is I think this is where the Divide happens because birds of a feather flock together,
you know we connect to relatability and so.
[45:31] What I had kind of as a check in my spirit now that I'm no longer single in the terms of,
completely single like I'm not married yet but as I'm moving toward that very intentionally like my check and my spirit was to say,
it's natural that you want to have more conversations with couples and married people,
that's where you're at but don't forget that you were just single and don't forget about your single girls,
who still need to put the work in to end their chapters in a better way so that they can come and not just have this like,
Great Divide and no Bridge so I think that,
I think married people and single people actually it's on both sides like we have to remember we're not the only relational Dynamics coexisting on this Earth,
um and so we play a part in to each other because so many of my married friends you know girls have talked about like I feel extremely lonely because I don't have the ability to just up and go anymore,
I don't have the ability to just connect on that girlfriend level you know,
and then the girlfriends who are single are going like I feel extremely lonely because you up and left me and have this other person right so it's very much working together to communicate like,
number one communicate about how you communicate like hey I feel like we don't communicate as much anymore like what we what you think is going on there you know.
[46:57] Because you're married now you know like I don't wanna I don't wanna like encroach on you know well let you know and so it's just a communicate about how you communicate number one and then also to just communicate like how you're feeling and saying,
man I miss you I miss having some girl time like can we schedule that in and you know and just talked about.
You know teach each other like what is it like to be single what is it like to be married you know what are you feeling is a challenge for you in that season,
the joy for you in that season and we just got to get more 3D with our relationships I think.
Sarah:
[47:28] That's so good so good well Jenna sadly our time is like it goes so fast I'm going to have to I'm gonna have to have you come back if you.
Want to ask more questions and I would have loved to like kind of give people a chance to say hey ask Jenna anything astronaut time.
Jenna:
[47:45] I love it.
Sarah:
[47:46] But I want to know like what are you I mean so well I got a couple more questions but we're going to,
come come in for the landing but as you were looking to 2021 just with your background with counseling coaching life like what are a few good things you think,
we could carry with us in the 2021 or things you're seeing maybe collectively there like maybe we should all ditch that,
22 leave that in 2020 take this with you in 2021 or just what some advice you would give us or encouragement as we're looking at a new year,
and how to kind of go into it well.
Jenna:
[48:20] Yeah I think that's good question I think that one of them is just adopting a teachable spirit.
I really think that that is so important because when we position ourselves to learn from other people,
on all levels we open up an entire Warehouse of opportunities to have better relationship with God with self and with others,
his powerful because no man is an island right like we so often out of fear gets so stuck in our own junk that we cannot get outside of it long enough to say like hmm while I'm struggling with a,
I've overcome be and you're struggling with be I didn't know you're struggling with be let me help you and teach you what you what I've learned on be and who knows maybe a is your strength.
I mean we just leave so much texture to our relationships on the table by
just fearing what other people think about us and comparing to other people and assuming what other people think like maybe some good mantras for you as in anything you're doing commit to the process of it versus the result,
when it comes to overcoming a struggle.
Sarah:
[49:38] Commit to the process not the.
Jenna:
[49:40] Yes all my business people I hear you business is results driven we talking emotional.
Sarah:
[49:44] Business Pizza yes.
Jenna:
[49:46] No but you know really commit to that process it takes to grow and to speak human right and then I would say the other thing too is really to just.
Like have this responsibility issue that says I'm not responsible for another humans emotions.
I am responsible for how I handle my own emotions in the way that affects their emotions.
But I'm not responsible for them I'm not responsible to communicate their feelings for them I'm not responsible to fix their feelings for them and I'm not responsible to make their choices from those feelings for their life.
Sarah:
[50:25] Right right.
Jenna:
[50:26] We are not each other's holy spirits,
we are fellow humans saved by grace that can point to Christ and to truth but man I think just getting more of that vulnerability with each other where we are able to open up,
share the hard stuff share the Great Stuff encourage each other and not be you know not get in there and try to do it for them.
Sarah:
[50:51] Yeah I think that's so good Jenna because I think this year right when all of the quarantine all the stuff and there's just all this isolation and whether you were isolated by yourself,
or I sleep feeling alone within even get other people with you I think the need for community and I think some of us have realized hey we really need Community more,
some of us maybe don't haven't realized that
yet and are still trying to make it on our own I guess what would you say I mean both of the things you already said are such great reminders of that but if somebody's just really struggling with don't even know how to find Community or how do I find people or how do I what would you,
tell some you have any advice like just how to find some people or specially to because there is the real you know fear of the pandemic still and we're not completely clear of all of that yet hopefully we are making.
Jenna:
[51:37] Hopefully we are making sure yes.
Sarah:
[51:40] Direction and we'll get to do some more things in 2021 but there are still people that for whatever reasons and various reasons are still needing to be more careful and be at home and,
Community can be hard what would you got any pro tips on how to get some relationships our community.
Jenna didn't know what she was getting herself into just asking all my random questions.
Jenna:
[52:03] I love it girl you know this how I roll this is how I do um yeah I would really.
With okay so of course with the pandemic that makes things devil little bit harder of course like you were saying,
you know online connection is great but it does not replace in-person connection right so whenever we're able to at the levels were able to within the pandemic and safety and all that good stuff.
[52:30] I really really believe that the way to build true Community is serving people and serving with people,
I mean that's how Jesus did yeah you know he came on the scene served as a servant leader and then served with his disciples.
And I think that when were intentional with who we surround ourselves with on our inner circles,
is big but I think that so many people especially with social media like we just want to go so wide with our friend base that we forsake going deep and building those Community connections so.
Picking a few going deep with them getting a few more going somewhat deep with them you know and then just
serving with them and really just saying like Okay whether that's in nonprofit organizations whether that's in churches whether that's in just your business that you work in like you know where are the needs around me teach me what I can do to help and even just the question how can I help,
is huge right and so.
Really just getting out from behind the curtain of our own feelings is going to be really big to help us build community.
Sarah:
[53:43] That's good will Jen that I hope you will come back soon and talk to us more about emotions and feelings because I think we've just barely scratched the surface because we all have emotions and feelings and if we're all quite honest we all have a lot of them.
Jenna:
[53:55] Yeah we are.
Sarah:
[53:56] Is working through all that but Jenna okay one last question for you so the show is called now that something good so share something good with us just it can be whatever I mean there's no.
Qualifier it could be a good story a good joke a new Prada I don't know like.
Jenna:
[54:11] Like I love it now that's something good hmm I would say now that's something good that we are going to be in 2021 tomorrow.
Sarah:
[54:24] Good by 2020.
Jenna:
[54:26] Goodbye yeah no I think like just even with that vein like change is good yeah change is a good thing.
What let me rephrase that what we do with change that's something good.
Sarah:
[54:41] I love it I love it Jenna thank you so much for being here with me today we'll do it again we'll do it again for sure awesome thanks friend.
Jenna:
[54:46] It's been so fun absolutely awesome thanks friend.