The Bynums live in the St. Louis area, raising two boys, a girl, show chickens and show lambs. Josh works for Bayer and Katie for Fearless Women. Both are passionate about their family, leadership, and their faith. Listen in to hear their story, some funny real life moments and many valuable lessons along the way. The Bynums are an inspirational couple. They've been married 20 years - over half their lives!
You don’t have to be married to enjoy this conversation. But if you’re dating, newly engaged, or married for multiple years, grab your partner and listen together. You just might be encouraged (or challenged) by their story and relationship principles.
Discover more about our guests:
Follow Katie on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katie.b.bynum
Follow Katie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katiecbynum
Favorite quotes from the episode:
Fun things from the episode:
View this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/dEbypieGHZk
Follow Now That's Something Good: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
Share your thoughts: podcast@sarahgood.com
Now That's Something Good Podcast by Sarah Good is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0
Show notes may contain affiliate links. This is at no extra cost to you but does help support telling more stories that bring more good. Now that is something good! Thank you for your kind support.
The Bynums live in the St. Louis area, raising two boys, a girl, show chickens and show lambs. Josh works for Bayer and Katie for Fearless Women. Both are passionate about their family, leadership, and their faith. Listen in to hear their story, some funny real life moments and many valuable lessons along the way. The Bynums are an inspirational couple. They've been married 20 years - over half their lives!
You don’t have to be married to enjoy this conversation. But if you’re dating, newly engaged, or married for multiple years, grab your partner and listen together. You just might be encouraged (or challenged) by their story and relationship principles.
Discover more about our guests:
Follow Katie on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katie.b.bynum
Follow Katie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katiecbynum
Favorite quotes from the episode:
Fun things from the episode:
View this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/dEbypieGHZk
Follow Now That's Something Good: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
Share your thoughts: podcast@sarahgood.com
Now That's Something Good Podcast by Sarah Good is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0
Show notes may contain affiliate links. This is at no extra cost to you but does help support telling more stories that bring more good. Now that is something good! Thank you for your kind support.
Sarah:
[3:20] Hey friends welcome back to now that something good I am so excited to have not one guest but two guests in the podcast studio with us today are good friends Josh and Katie Bynum how are you guys,
oh my God.
Katie:
[3:36] Feet with the goods today.
Sarah:
[3:38] We are so excited to have you so we're going to be talking all about marriage relationships life just all the things how are you guys feeling about that,
you ready to just tell us everything we want to know I'm just no pressure,
just start off I want everybody be able to hear your voice a little bit so why don't you guys each introduce yourself a little bit tell us about what fills your days and about your family a little bit.
Josh:
[4:05] Very good all right so Josh Bynum what fills my day a lot of times is work,
most people and I work for bear,
here in St Louis and I enjoy getting to fill the rest of my day with family I've been working from home since covid started and that's really enhanced my family time and opportunities with the kids,
we're into sports or into livestock animals and so we stay pretty busy.
Sarah:
[4:38] Now Josh I feel like I got to stop you here for just a second Katie will give you a set but you said you fill your days with livestock animals I feel like you're going to need to explain that you live right here we're in st. Charles County for not local do you live on.
Josh:
[4:52] Like you need to put.
Sarah:
[4:53] Put some context to where you live so that people can also understand why I'm saying it's a little funny that you have livestock.
Josh:
[4:58] Yeah so we live in the suburbs but we do have some Acres we have five acres and livestock's for us is chickens so our boys show chickens,
and we love the eggs that come from the chickens yes and then we also are in the business of showing sheep,
and so that's honestly consumed a lot of our time here in the in the past few weeks because we're getting ready to buy our show.
Sarah:
[5:26] Okay okay.
Josh:
[5:26] For this next year.
Katie:
[5:28] Ordered new chickens that come via the mail sir.
Sarah:
[5:32] Now I really have an important question because I'm sure our friends listening or like where does one order chickens like how does this just do they come in the mail you can order chickens at this is your Aunt tell us a little bit about this for a second where do you order chickens from.
Josh:
[5:45] They do where do you order chicken from so we order from a hatchery out of Ohio okay and they literally ship them in the Postal Service,
and so when we show up to the Postal Service to pick them up where we have a box that's chirping.
Katie:
[6:03] It has live on the outside that's really important so they make sure to get it to you.
Sarah:
[6:07] Okay this is crazy I feel like there's going to be a whole other show now that's something good livestock Edition like I feel like I'm happy here we'll try to keep it rained in but okay that's awesome.
Katie:
[6:17] Where we came here tonight there were like 12 Deer in our front yard that's our most favorite part of where we live.
Sarah:
[6:22] Katie that's awesome and I know so tell us a little bit about how you fill your days and then you tell us tell us about your kids and.
Katie:
[6:29] Sounds good,
my name is Katie Bynum and we have three kids Brayden 13 now Branson will be 11 soon in Kalin Faith which is for I fill my days by being Mom mostly,
chasing children and driving children and,
supporting Josh and then I am now the vice president for Fearless women and that consumes a lot of my time it's.
Sarah:
[6:54] Yes very cool okay I do have one more question because I feel like the people listening or one know this because you talked about sheep would you like to tell a story about how you sometimes exercise your sheep,
still got money a picture of this to put out so everybody can see.
Katie:
[7:09] It's kind of a secret Sarah.
[7:15] Never mind we can't give away all our.
Sarah:
[7:20] Can you really not tell.
Josh:
[7:23] We do exercise our sheep.
Sarah:
[7:24] Okay maybe.
Josh:
[7:26] With certain ways to build muscle.
Sarah:
[7:31] Yeah don't tell the actual you just okay.
Katie:
[7:34] Lots of exercise lots of.
Josh:
[7:37] Just got caught off there.
Katie:
[7:43] Worries no worries.
Sarah:
[7:44] This is why we just should not talk about livestock we're just going to stick to the other stuff this is.
Katie:
[7:49] You got Sarah.
Sarah:
[7:50] To be a great episode y'all are happy you're here Lee.
Katie:
[7:52] You never know what your friend Sarah May yeah.
Josh:
[7:54] I don't know who you never know I've see I found that's the first wrong question I've actually asked about.
Sarah:
[7:58] Actually asked that people couldn't answer.
Josh:
[8:02] Cannot tell the Sheep Trade Secrets okay let's back up here so.
Sarah:
[8:07] Please tell everybody how long have you been.
Katie:
[8:10] Half our life Sarah.
Josh:
[8:12] Crazy half our lives.
Katie:
[8:15] We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary December 30th.
Josh:
[8:20] And our 40th birthday back in August.
Katie:
[8:23] During covid-19.
Josh:
[8:23] Thank you had a big twin big teen that was all enjoying in 2020.
Katie:
[8:27] Alder and covid yes.
Josh:
[8:30] Okay I know in Katy you're going to do you have a big birthday plans.
Sarah:
[8:31] And Katie you're going to do you had big birthday plans and just.
Katie:
[8:35] It still was great we just had to change our plans and digest yes.
Sarah:
[8:38] Had to adjust okay so tell me this I want to go like way back 20 years ago or for how long did you guys.
Josh:
[8:48] We dated for two and a half years before we tied the knot.
Sarah:
[8:54] So I'm gonna need to hear all the details and I mean like a lot of the details but like you know that we can fit in an hour-long podcast so Katie I'm going to ask you because I think this will be great certain questions from both of your perspectives how did how did you guys meet tell us the.
Katie:
[9:08] Yes Josh and I,
went to college at West Texas A&M University which was halfway in between where we both grew up small hometowns it's a smaller college right in the center and,
it was within the first few weeks of going to college that we both everybody's gonna love this we both were out with friends that night,
country western dancing because that's the only thing you get to do.
Josh:
[9:34] Midnight Rodeo.
Katie:
[9:36] Nowhere Josh.
Josh:
[9:37] Midnight Rodeo Amarillo Texas.
Katie:
[9:42] We really do both of us like to country dance and we were dancing I was with a group of friends Josh was with a group of friends and some of the friends within our friend groups knew each other and Josh saw me from a distance and what did you say Josh.
Josh:
[9:55] Well I was actually dancing with someone else and I saw Katie and I pointed at her and said I want to dance with you.
Katie:
[10:03] Yeah really loud and I was very scared and I went back to my friend group and said what is going on who's that crazy guy.
Josh:
[10:11] Who's got cookies fortunately she was standing next to a guy that knew me and so when she did get a little bit scared he was like he's an okay guy he's an okay guy.
Katie:
[10:20] Okay so did you end up there we did we did.
Sarah:
[10:21] Did you end up did you end up dancing with him so was this like love at first dance like what was that was it really I'm very intrigued by this.
Josh:
[10:29] Honestly it was pretty close to that because it was just the very next week that I was back at the Midnight Rodeo okay and Katie wasn't,
and it's not far from our University campus and so a lots of people will,
drive over they'll they make drive home in a different car or somebody else will just so happen that I ended up driving home with someone else.
Sarah:
[10:56] Okay of the female persuasion.
Josh:
[10:59] But there was multiple people there multiple people with me you know I told you.
Sarah:
[11:04] I told you we need the real details here.
Josh:
[11:06] And so what what's funny about it is there's hundreds of people at this dance hall okay but on the way on the way back I found out that the person driving the car was actually Katie's roommate.
Katie:
[11:17] Driving my car.
Josh:
[11:18] And was driving Katie's car and the reason Katie wasn't there as she was getting ready the next day to plan a trip to San Angelo,
and so knowing that she was planning a trip I asked the lady to take take her car to a gas station and I filled her car up with gas.
Sarah:
[11:33] Oh wow this is all before like a real first date.
Katie:
[11:36] I know oh yeah.
Josh:
[11:40] Filter car.
Sarah:
[11:41] People this is a good stuff so good first move Josh this is going in your favor.
Katie:
[11:45] And then the next week was homecoming week which is always a big week at universities and we were both our dorms we're a part of building the bomb fire,
our dorm nights went on the same night and he found me again and we sat and we talked all night long at the bomb fire.
Josh:
[12:04] We laid in the bed of my truck looking up at the stars and literally talked all night just about who we were and.
Katie:
[12:12] And then he conveniently lost his algebra book and he needed to borrow mine and I became his algebra tutor.
Sarah:
[12:30] Question I got actually a couple of follow-up questions do you remember what the dance the song was that your first dance was too is there any chance you remember.
Katie:
[12:38] No but we're big George Strait.
Josh:
[12:41] It's going to say okay so there's a good chance it was George Strait I love it and then I.
Sarah:
[12:46] But listening also need to know something because the two it's two steps.
Josh:
[12:51] Two-step the Texas two-step.
Sarah:
[12:52] Texas Two Step I which I've I know nothing about you did you guys.
Josh:
[12:57] There's something more about this.
Sarah:
[12:59] NSYNC situation I feel like you need to share with.
Josh:
[13:01] So we actually had an elective that we took in college and we both decided to sign up for Western and.
Sarah:
[13:09] Only in Texas I feel like this is where you would have the.
Josh:
[13:11] So we took a two step western dance class in college.
Katie:
[13:15] We even learn how to like do the flips and everything.
Sarah:
[13:19] Have a video we're gonna have to show this guy's because I forgot about this part of their story because.
Josh:
[13:23] We've known each other and we've.
Sarah:
[13:23] Each other and we've gotten in awhile and I've gotten to the bottom is for I mean a while now,
and we used to do these things these events called a barn bash and they would teach people how to do the two-step it was one of my favorite things that I remember being shocked that I was like it it's there good at this.
Josh:
[13:37] Yeah I don't look like I can dance.
Katie:
[13:40] We might have to get put a video together Sarah.
Sarah:
[13:42] To show something maybe we'll just get them to do a little bit of it before they leave the podcast studio will just put it out there it'll be a who knows what's going to happen.
Josh:
[13:50] You know say yeah okay.
Sarah:
[13:50] Okay so then just tell us what happened after that you guys started immediately after the long night talk and the bonfire.
Katie:
[13:58] Our first date oh except for he asked me to go on a date and then I remembered I had a flag football game I was playing in and he told him I couldn't because I was playing flag football and he thought I was lying.
Josh:
[14:11] I just took it as an excuse because I'm ready to take this girl out for a steak and she says no I have a flag football game so I'm like.
Katie:
[14:20] Dead so then he said well can we go after and we did.
Sarah:
[14:24] Was a good compromise that was a good right from the start relationships.
Josh:
[14:26] Relationships or our first day was to the Outback Steakhouse in Amarillo and I do remember a conversation we're talking over 20 years ago but I do remember a conversation that we had because.
Katie:
[14:40] On cutting how to cut your stay.
Josh:
[14:41] I was like so do you cut your steak like do you take one bite off and then eat it or do you cut up your whole steak and then start eating.
Katie:
[14:51] I cut up fight per bite because you don't want your steak to get Colts there.
Sarah:
[14:55] Yes ok understanding Wheels giving thumbs up behind you because he's probably laughing because in our house I grew up this is gonna sound so bad but my dad always cut steak for me.
Josh:
[15:05] I can't cut a nice right.
Sarah:
[15:09] So that's why he's laughing because all my steak would be cut up but now.
Josh:
[15:13] Now I cut it the.
Sarah:
[15:14] For way and do it a bite at a time I've grown up people as fine so did you cut all of your steak at once did you do this differently.
Josh:
[15:22] No I do I do one at a time.
Sarah:
[15:24] So you were just checking this was like basically.
Josh:
[15:26] It was a test.
Sarah:
[15:28] Good job you passed Katie this is,
so okay so something happened between dating and getting married and I want to hear in a second so just start thinking even though as I ask another question I want to hear about the proposal story because I feel like there needs to be a story.
Josh:
[15:41] But Josh mask you how.
Sarah:
[15:42] Josh I'm gonna ask you how how did you know Katie was like really the one like you're like I want to spend my life with her this is it I want her to have my kids we're going to go 20 plus years this is my girl.
Josh:
[15:56] That's a really good question and I I think that,
as Katie and I got to know each other more than as we got to experience some fun things together we went snow skiing and stayed with my uncle
for a trip we had a lot of heart to hearts with just how I you know where my perspectives are around life and at some point I remember,
in my apartment Katie was fixing spaghetti and I remember telling her I was like you know what,
I'm ready to do this like I'm ready to get married and I'm just you just tell me when,
and it was it was but I think you know Katie and I both had been in long-term relationships in high school.
Sarah:
[16:44] Okay okay.
Josh:
[16:46] And I think that you know once,
our conversations were smooth we had a lot of fun together we had a lot of interests and I could see my life with her and I've kind of got a face for radio so that's why I like this doing this podcast but my wife is beautiful,
and that's just part of what it that's just,
but that's just part of what attracted me to her she's a great person and we had a lot of things in common and I could have I could see my life with her.
Sarah:
[17:16] That's great Katie what about you what was it about Josh or what were you that was like.
Josh:
[17:19] Like my dance moves.
Katie:
[17:22] Is baldness and I want to dance with you,
Josh was very persistent we did go through like you know trowels just relationships trying to figure each other out but he continually pursued me well and we talked a lot about things before getting married I knew that was a big deal but,
we both say a lot that we were born older and and we have always felt that way we are the oldest both of us of our siblings and always felt just a little more mature because we got we got engaged when we were 19,
and then married when we were 20 and Josh's parents thought that was great and beautiful and no surprises mine were a little surprised,
um but I remember when I told my mom like he is the one,
um and I knew that like I just knew after a year and a half of dating I knew he was the one like I had prayed and had qualities in mind and he had all of those qualities on my list that I,
I'm a one in a gram so I knew what I wanted and he had all of those qualities and he followed the Lord and knew Jesus and that was number one and then he loved me very well he still loves me very well.
Sarah:
[18:32] That's important so Josh tell me the proposal story like was this something that you thought about like a while was this a planned out like a big thing behind the scenes or.
Josh:
[18:46] Yeah so there were some planning involved I would I mean it there it wasn't,
really spontaneous I had planned out a little bit so in my hometown of Spearman TExas we have a lake about 15 miles outside of town and I remember one night I was in May,
and I had the ring I had to ring for about a month before I actually did The Proposal.
Sarah:
[19:14] Okay so I got to ask you a ring question did you pick this out all by yourself did Katie give you like did you know think that she know about it.
Katie:
[19:21] I gave.
Josh:
[19:23] Yeah and I would say the suggestions were more on the D like a princess-cut do you like this whatever other types of cuts there are but.
Sarah:
[19:31] Have known there were so many cuts of a diamond and.
Josh:
[19:31] Square from yeah.
Katie:
[19:33] Do you got lucky.
Josh:
[19:34] Yeah yeah but I did pick it out on my own and so this one night in May I decided that I was going to take her out to the to the lake,
and we went out to the lake and I actually had her read First Corinthians and so she read it,
and I had some strawberries and fruit and a little picnic basket or whatever and then I got on one knee and asked her to marry me and you said get it.
Katie:
[20:12] Hey.
Josh:
[20:13] I cried I love it that's good yeah that was special.
Sarah:
[20:21] Okay so that was in May and then just that next December got married just give me a couple Katie like wedding details because this is important I mean what's your dress look like what was it church not sure okay just tell.
Katie:
[20:34] We got married and the church that I grew up in and the same Pastor that baptized me married me which was beautiful it turned out to be a snowstorm weekend.
Josh:
[20:46] Seven inches of snow.
Katie:
[20:47] A lot of Josh's family and friends got stranded and did not get to make it which was super sad but there was a point where I had to walk outside and had to put on like a jacket because it's snowing outside I was beautiful,
and we did have a dance we had it actually the night before and we had just a wonderful wedding it was beautiful.
Josh:
[21:08] I think one of the things that the rehearsal dinner before the dance that was something that I'll never forget is my dad actually stood up and shared with everyone and shirt specifically talking to Katie the,
since the day I was born they have been praying for my spouse yes I cried then yeah I think and think and think about that.
Katie:
[21:32] Yeah that's huge that's a lot of praying.
Josh:
[21:33] To be praying for your kids and praying for their for their spouse yeah for all those years and then to be right at the point where,
twenty-four hours away from marrying the girl that they've been praying for was really special.
Katie:
[21:48] So we've been doing the same for our kids praying for their spouses yes.
Sarah:
[21:52] Make a plug tell our friends listening why they should be doing that they've got kids or they should put that back for when they.
Katie:
[21:58] Because the Lord hears your prayers he does and we do just we pray for a Godly spouse that is exactly created for the three children we have to be the right one that they would come along and get to marry so good.
Sarah:
[22:10] So good I love it so the first place you live tell me about that apartment house where did you guys live these are important.
Josh:
[22:16] Yeah so we were still in we were no yeah we were still an undergraduate school yeah okay and so we moved into the one-bedroom apartment that I had and one of the funny stories about that apartment is,
when Katie's mom and dad came to visit us they walked into our one-bedroom apartment and her dad was like well this is a lot bigger than what,
this is pretty nice and I'm like well it's a one-bedroom.
Katie:
[22:43] He thought he was going to be just like one room.
Josh:
[22:47] Okay okay so we.
Katie:
[22:47] And then we upgrade.
Josh:
[22:50] We upgraded to a downstairs two bedroom.
Katie:
[22:54] And then big stuff happened we graduated from college and fell,
God calling Josh to go to graduate school at Texas A&M University which was a nine hour drive from where we were currently living so nine hours from all of our family,
and that was a huge decision that we walk through lots of Tears shed about that just
we both are very close with our families we love our families and get along very well and so just feeling the call to move away from them but what we learned during that was God really Drew us to one another and I think that's really important in a marriage that you learn how to do life together with your spouse,
the family.
Josh:
[23:32] Friends this is just us we had to really.
Katie:
[23:34] We moved nine hours away and started over we've been married just about a year when we moved and then we left and,
place in College Station for 10 years.
Josh:
[23:47] Six years yeah oh 2208.
Sarah:
[23:52] And that's when you move here to St Louis.
Katie:
[23:54] No so we live there and Josh and I both did graduate work and had our first child there,
and really we found a great church to plug in there and a beautiful friend group and did life together with a lot of people there and it was a great time of our lives and we had been married for seven years before we had our first child,
that was hard we loved our life,
just the two of us and found out we were very selfish people and then we had a child and it was hard to have a child after being married for seven years.
Sarah:
[24:28] Okay these are good things so can I ask was it intentional to wait.
Katie:
[24:32] It was it was we were in school and it took a lot of our time and consumed us and we really like,
I had to convince Josh it was time to have a child and God had to convince Josh because he loved our life just he and I and we had a lot of.
Josh:
[24:46] Well I mean we were.
Katie:
[24:47] Just got to do what we wanted to do and.
Josh:
[24:50] We wanted to road trip tomorrow back to see family we could nothing was holding us back we had season tickets to watch the Aggies play football I mean it was we just have fun you know we really.
Katie:
[25:02] We still have a lot of fun together it.
Sarah:
[25:03] Totally changes when you put a little person,
so Katie you actually said something about selfishness like this was hard and this was a question that somebody actually asked about instead I don't think people talk about in marriage how hard it is to like put aside your own amazing very hard when you put two lives together,
you see all of the selfish tendencies that come out you guys just talk about that like how how do you work through that what did you see.
Katie:
[25:28] That's hard it is so true because we are born as selfish people me me me people and so it truly is I believe a choice that you have to make every day to try to give to others and know that once you get married,
you have committed to that and so ask God to help you for help to give towards that other person and,
less of ourselves some more of them isn't that what got calls us to do anyways to lay down ourselves and to give.
Josh:
[25:59] Yeah and I would say you know Ephesians 5:25 says,
a very specific Amanda husbands and it says husband's love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up and so that's the ultimate Act of not being selfish and that's what he calls us to do is,
not you know set aside yourself and really pour as much as you can into to helping and supporting your wife.
Sarah:
[26:25] It's good so kind of along those lines I feel like,
make you think a second do you remember what one of your first or second like big arguments or point of tension would be in your marriage is it something that you're willing to share.
Josh:
[26:42] I'm waiting to hear what she says because I don't ya she was quick.
Sarah:
[26:46] She didn't eat any time she knew Josh I don't know what she's about to say so.
Katie:
[26:49] I don't remember like how far into our marriage but we were it wasn't that far I'm trying to picture it I think it was our two bedroom apartment so maybe we'd been married six months or a year I don't know anyways I kept noticing that,
boxer shorts were left on the bathroom floor like every day,
and there was a pair and another pair another pair and I was finally like I'm just going to leave them there until he runs out of boxer shorts I mean the laundry baskets are right,
and he ran out and then he realized he's just start picking them up if they would just make it to the laundry basket I would wash them.
Sarah:
[27:22] Okay that's fair enough.
Katie:
[27:24] That's all I remember about that.
Josh:
[27:26] I don't remember that but I can see myself doing that so I definitely I'm sure that happened.
Sarah:
[27:33] Do you remember a fight or something that was just maybe knew about living not being on your own anymore and adjusting to having to live.
Katie:
[27:41] Talk about our communication Styles initially and this was like in dating and what you would do versus what I would do and how we finally figured out how to come together.
Josh:
[27:49] Yeah this is a good this is a good one because I think you know communication is so key in any relationship.
Sarah:
[27:54] Yeah yes.
Katie:
[27:56] And a lot of it can come from like how you grew up and this is a definite instance of that.
Josh:
[28:03] And when I when I grew up I grew up in a very open communication with my mom and dad I would tell and I'll honestly I would sometimes tell my dad things before I would tell my friends or wouldn't tell my friends,
and so I just had that special relationship that I was open and communication and so when Katie and I would want to you know we were needing to discuss something,
it was very easy for me to just say well let's just talk about it.
Katie:
[28:29] Now he want to talk about everything all the.
Josh:
[28:31] Let's talk about,
or maybe maybe in a in a quicker version of this is when I would come home from school or from work and Katie ask me about my day I'm like well this morning on my way in and that and then I would just go throughout my day,
and then I would say so Katie how was your day well it was good,
I'm like what.
Sarah:
[28:52] If note version and you.
Josh:
[28:54] Let's take another step here what else happened.
Katie:
[28:56] Okay I might need to say though Josh and I actually play like opposite role sometimes as are played in a marriage,
like sometimes like the girl is the one that's going to give all the details,
opposite in our relationship and there are a few like that but okay let's finish the story first about,
so then like we realized I needed a few minutes to process things before I was ready to sit down and talk and share all the details and that definitely came from my upbringing my Mom and Dad aren't just big huge communicators,
they'll work through things but it's behind closed doors and it's very little talking
and so I grew up like that we had to learn to compromise and him do a little less talking to me to a little more talking and we're still like that to this day.
Sarah:
[29:42] So how did you figure that out can you like tell because I think that is probably something that is very common for a lot of people listening whether they're in a marriage relationship or whether they're dating or just a,
it happens across the board just but how did you guys have that conversation to now go hey we know this instead of letting it continue to be a point of tension and frustration and really hard things,
you guys remember how that.
Josh:
[30:04] Yeah I think it,
calls for you to be vulnerable and really have this heart-to-heart discussion around hey this room whenever you shut off it really hurts me because I think you know that,
you don't want to talk about this and then for her she's like well you know I'd love to talk about it but I can't right now I need.
Katie:
[30:29] In the state of mind I need to pray about it and think through it before I can really sit down.
Josh:
[30:32] I can talk about it tomorrow and it's the recognition it's the awareness it's the openness and the vulnerability to that that I think draws you together as a couple,
and also helps bring the the compromise that Katie was mentioning.
Katie:
[30:48] And I would say like we're just trying to learn that right now with our kids just how to help them learn how to communicate where we have one that will run out screaming and another that wants to sit and talk forever so one of each of us and trying to help them do the same.
Josh:
[31:00] I can't remember how many years it was into our marriage but we come across the love language book and that really helped us understand where were coming from.
Sarah:
[31:11] A little bit about what that is if somebody doesn't know what it is and we'll put it in the show notes so they can find.
Katie:
[31:15] 5 Love Languages by is it Gary Chapman,
yes and it is just ways that you can better love one another that we're kind of all organized into these Bob different categories and so for instance Josh is a words of affirmation,
which means
he loves for me to fill him up and they it talks about a love tank you all have this love tank and he responds best if I give him Praises or things that he does well and that truly feels his love tank.
Josh:
[31:43] Compliments mean something to me.
Katie:
[31:44] Yes okay so therefore since that is what he is he likes to give that to me and that is generally not me,
so he has to work to figure out the things that are me and I'm complicated I'm fearfully and wonderfully made as the Bible says and I need all five love languages.
Sarah:
[32:01] I need all five in rotating degrees depending on the day of the month it may or may not.
Katie:
[32:06] I'm sure so.
Sarah:
[32:09] Because I think a lot of okay let's be fair and we're not trying to stereotype people because we,
wonderfully complex God has made us that way there's no one-size-fits-all between male female I mean just but there are some things so and women across the board even if Josh you were the more of the talker women,
usually get pegged to be a little more just kind of all over the place and one day we might want one thing and the next day was something else and we're not really,
expect you just to read our minds so how did you navigate that Josh when you're trying to figure out like woman yesterday you wanted words of affirmations today you want to gift tomorrow you want something hot.
Josh:
[32:45] Yeah I mean one of the big ones for Katie is acts of service and you have to think about some of the things that you can do around the house like,
making sure that the sinks clean with the dishes or those type of things and not think of them as a chore or,
you know I really don't want to do this but think about it as this is an act of love in Katie's eyes because she sees it as an act of service and that shows her that I love her.
Katie:
[33:10] One of the things I think we learned early in our marriage was where we mentoring couples maybe and I,
studying your partner so really like getting to know them watching the things they do listen to them talk and trying to figure them out so that you can help poor into them and,
the best possible way so study your children study your partner study your friends figure out what they what they like and don't like and then try to follow through with that.
Background
Sarah:
[33:37] You can do too.
[33:41] Hey friends interrupting this conversation for just a moment to tell you about something fun and good we are going to take over Fridays as something good
Fridays and I want you to participate in join with us over on Facebook and Instagram we're going to be taking Fridays to just share some good with everyone around us so
this is what I want to ask you to do this coming Friday would you make a post would you make an insta story you can share whatever but would you just share something good that's happened in your life
this last week I shared about how one of my favorite worship songs popped up it can be anything just something good that's brought you a little joy to your day and this will want you to do tag now that's something good in it.
[34:21] Or use the hashtag something good Friday so we can find it so two things one if you share it it's going to bring some good to everyone around us which,
hello everybody could use a little extra good in their life so do that,
you might get randomly selected by will and I and we might send you a piece of happy male witch who wouldn't like some something good happy meal
so we're going to repost a lot of those on our accounts too so we can just spread the something good
all over the interweb and help shine some bright lights and sometimes a chaotic and heavy space so make a post share something with us use hashtag something good Friday and make sure to tag at now that's something good so we can share in a lot of good
together you with me we can do it this Friday let's see your post so here we go back to my conversation with Josh and Katie.
[35:14] Let's talk about kids,
kids have a way of drastically changing your life in your marriage do you want to share with us like how what was some of the learning curve with that for you guys how we learn to navigate still working on still studying each other in some way shape or,
why you have one two three kids and life is crazy.
Katie:
[35:37] Yes,
we do in our marriage we try to prioritize date nights because we know we need some time by ourselves and that's tricky for us because we have no family in the area and we've never lived near family and so we do budget for like a babysitter,
and then we do try to plan a couples trip yearly if possible just to get away and recoup and refresh Andre talk and rekindle love again once a year so that's one of the big things we like to do.
Sarah:
[36:07] Let me ask you one thing because I think this is a big things I know will and I experience that early on and you guys are big into Financial Dave Ramsey all this stuff,
would you tell people if they're like hey we don't have family around we don't have a lot of extra money,
to either do a couples trip or even like a weekly or monthly date night what's some just creative ideas or things you would share or encourage along those lines.
Katie:
[36:29] Put the kids to bed early so and make some intentional time to be alone just you two because you can do that for free and and spend it talking instead of watching TV or something like that playing a game or something fun.
Josh:
[36:42] Yeah I think Katie said the key word it's being intentional because it won't happen on accident I can assure you quality time with your spouse with kids in the house will not happen on accident.
Sarah:
[36:52] Hmm.
Josh:
[36:54] You have to be intentional and you have to even plan ahead,
and think about well what is our next weekend look like could we put the kids to bed early and watch a movie together or play a board or you know whatever it may be but it's being intentional.
Katie:
[37:08] Some people trade off babysitters with a friend so that you can each month have someone just swap with a friend that are so you can go instead of having to pay for a sitter,
or but you have to budget you have to plan you could probably,
you know not eat out or not go to Starbucks for a month and get a babysitter on that save money that way.
Sarah:
[37:29] Okay that's good so what else have you just learned with having kids how to prioritize still each other yourselves individually but also take care of three very fun but demanding.
Josh:
[37:43] Yeah I think the part of it is me recognizing that,
unless I plan for it I won't get one-on-one time individual if my kids and,
it's also a benefit to Katie because she's around the kids more than I am during the day is making sure that I can help her out by taking one of the kids with me if I'm going to Rural King or wherever I'm headed
and get the one-on-one time with him and then also you know help by not having them be around Katie all the time.
Sarah:
[38:17] Let's go,
okay so I want to talk about unmet expectations because I feel like expectations in the marriage is kind of like how you talked about KD that we kind of take on what we,
as just kind of what should be or normal and I think a lot of life,
in relationships and work just across the board happens when we've got expectations in our,
the person who cannot read our minds even though we think they should does not meet those expectations and it leads to a lot of just either internal anger
upsetness just what discomfort all that stuff what have you guys done can you maybe give an example of maybe something that has been an unmet expectation that you guys have had to talk through you think of it has anything come to mind.
Katie:
[39:00] I think that's huge just what you said like the communication part of it because we expect especially after you've been married 20 years for them to read your mind and they really still can't like we do some weird things where we can we do read each other's mind a lot
but as things come up it's still just that verbalizing what you really,
need or want or he's generally more than willing to do it if I tell him but hit he,
ladies and men are so different that we don't see things the same way so just the open communication and talking and when you are feeling anger or something burning inside of you to talk about it instead of erupting because normally,
they don't know what's going on.
Josh:
[39:43] Yeah I think the expectations piece is huge because that you've heard me say this before Sarah but disappointment is Expectations - reality.
Sarah:
[39:52] So good yes.
Josh:
[39:53] And,
how am I to know what the expectation is if I haven't heard it or you don't tell me and so I think that's a good answer Katie this communication piece of,
if you have that expectation please let me know that that is the expectation so that I don't fall short in what you're expecting and then it ends in disappointment.
Sarah:
[40:14] And usually we see right the most ways that happens is I'll start with the easier ones it happens with finances,
it happens with the dip like dividing of like just responsibilities and then if we can just go there it happens usually with sexual relationship just all that stuff like intimacy all that stuff happens and if you don't talk about so how do you guys I'm not going to ask you about the intimacy.
Katie:
[40:39] It to I'm gonna say you just need to talk about.
Sarah:
[40:42] Your for a second because that is a big piece and I was reading something earlier today that said this was actually shocking to me that a lot of marriages will make it to 19 years,
you guys are really in the thick of right where you've had three kids so if a lot of people you've made it that long but you probably have prioritized work,
kids can sometimes take a higher priority than marriage is more,
then not and so for a lot of reasons things just kind of shift and change in people don't seem to make it past that Mark or they wake up one day and they're like we don't know each other we've been living we've just been coexisting we've not had a relationship,
guess I'm kind of asking a lot of questions in that but maybe talk about how you guys have worked to just not coexist together but to really be a team,
and then I do think there's something in marriage that just we don't often want to talk about the physical part of things and it's important and so whatever you guys feel comfortable with and I just asked you to Big questions so,
how do you work on being a team and not just coexisting.
Katie:
[41:38] You need to find someone that you truly enjoy to be with like you need to be friends and we are friends and you need to have some common Hobbies,
that you can do together and really have fun together doing those and we have found those things along the way that we really do enjoy doing for instance we both like to fish,
and it is a blessing to our entire family we all go fishing together we like to we like to do our show animals together,
so find some common things you like to do together and then you want to elaborate on any of that.
Josh:
[42:12] I would agree with you I think having a wife that fishes with you is about as good as it gets.
Katie:
[42:21] Then just expectations again you are going to come into a marriage expecting different things and our world generally tells us it is different than what it's going to be,
and so again talk about it as hard as it is to talk about the s word you need to talk about it because men and different expect it differently men and women it looks different for them and so really learning to figure out what is best for both of you.
Josh:
[42:48] Yeah and maybe I'll take a plug here and say that don't have an expectation that things will change just because you put a ring on it,
just just thinking well you know we don't communicate now but if I'm his wife then yeah will communicate the hill want to communicate with us but no it won't change all of the things that were talking around about,
text butcher expectation around raising kids and how many kids do you want and what's you know how do we handle finances and how do we handle discipline with kids and how do we you know are we going to move away from those are conversations that need to be had,
before you put a ring on it because it won't.
Sarah:
[43:27] Did you guys have somebody do like marriage counseling.
Katie:
[43:29] We did yeah,
fun story though just it does show you just got truly did bring us together because we went and we had it's actually told in our wedding video so we just got to hear it again,
we go and we sit in the pastor's office and he gives us a test to take and he sends us to two separate rooms and he says that I finished 30 minutes earlier than Josh and then came back and we were 90-something percent on our answers.
Josh:
[43:54] Every category.
Katie:
[43:55] Which is kind of scary he said he never gets on that closely alike but it just shows that like our upbringing was very similar for a lot of and it was based on God and so,
but we had talked about children so I asked you know how many children going to have finances all the different things and we had talked about it before we went into that and before I circled all the answers so kind of a cool story just how God does spring,
people together.
Sarah:
[44:19] That is really cool and so I think for those of you listening who are Maybe not maybe you're in a dating relationship maybe you're recently engaged or maybe think about it,
all of us would say the goods in the mines would say marriage counseling is absolutely fine some people
whether you are believer or not if you are I would absolutely encourage you to find somebody who shares your same Faith system because it is so much of those expectations if you don't ever talk about him and you just get married,
happens I think you,
walk through a lot of those problems before you going to get going to get there or you know what to do a little better when it happens and will and I talk about all that time our marriage counseling are people they asked us really hard question all those things,
we had to talk about it and it helped us then just not walk in one day we're like well I thought you wanted to have you know Wheels like I want to have 5 kids I'm like I thought we were going to have one or none.
Katie:
[45:10] That's important because Josh did say to and I said three or four yeah and so this is can I,
so we got two we had our two children and Josh thought we were done and I was,
for a third and it got to time like two years later and I was ready for a third and Josh was not ready and he said I feel peace we're done and I said well I'm going to keep praying,
if it was God's will that he would bring us a third however that may happen however God wants to drop one in our lap and that's literally,
and those of you that know us know that many years later so our age Gap is how many R6,
we have six years in between our number two child and our number three child and it is because God,
ordained for us to have a little girl named Kalin faith that was adopted from China and so that is a big part of our story and if anyone ever wants to learn more I love to sit down and visited,
but that was a total guide thing how he worked that out in our lives and it was totally different than what we had,
but how that would work and God had to work in both of our lives in order for us to get to the point to where adoption was a part of our story.
Sarah:
[46:22] So talk about that a little bit because one of the that was one of my questions and you talked about it when you moved from your undergraduate when you move to Texas,
Sam said it right and then you've made several big life changes so having kids moving all that how do you guys just taught walk us through kind of the process of how you guys work out big decisions,
that are I mean they're really big life decisions that affect all of you or your kids how do you guys handle that.
Josh:
[46:48] Yeah life decisions I think have to be handled with a lot of prayer a lot of prayer and and they also have to happen together,
there has to be a you know a mutual agreement that this is where God's calling us to move to or this is a decision that God is calling us to do whether it's the adoption or having biological kids,
and I think the,
as you go through life and certainly your marriage relationship you go through various Seasons you go through a season you know that we didn't have kids and we were still in college we go through a season where,
having new kids where we're moving and I think that the biggest piece around that is continuing to stay in love continuing to,
cover all the decisions in prayer know that God's Gonna gonna protect you and his grace is going to be with you wherever you go,
and continue to.
Katie:
[47:46] Lane in the a.m.
Sarah:
[47:48] So can you kind of mention one with the kids but do you have any other examples where there's something you have felt like you guys have needed to do and you haven't been on the same page can you just walk through because again I don't want to stereotype things but I feel like,
sometimes it kind of seems like maybe the wife sometimes has one thing thinking one thing and then.
Katie:
[48:06] That's hard it is hard,
you pray about it and you pray and you talked about it but I feel like at the end of the day,
you are called to respect your husband and fall under him and walk alongside him whether you completely support his decision or not but,
God will work it out even a tough tough decision or light decision,
and I'm a pretty spot strong personality and Josh is shaking his head you can't see so that's hard for me because I think a lot of times I'm right,
because I'm a number one God created me to be that way.
Sarah:
[48:50] Be you or me or.
Katie:
[48:52] Yeah so it's a lot of humbling yourself right Sarah and allowing God to do a work in your heart to get you right where you're supposed to be.
Sarah:
[49:00] That's good okay so this is a question of just came to me and this some come put you on the spot a little bit if there is someone listening and maybe one of them is a Believer walking with the Lord and the other person is not,
that can kind of change because you just both said hey we pray about things and that's great when you both,
are in the same spot so I guess it would be twofold what would you tell somebody who's either spouse or,
equally significant other their date whatever is not in the same place Faith wise or just that's how it's a either they're not a Believer don't share or they're just maybe not as far along,
their Journey with that what do you do.
Katie:
[49:37] Okay I would say if you are dating and you are not on the same page you
you need to heat that very carefully God calls us to walk equally yoked so meaning you are on the same page in your belief system and your faith whatever yeah so if you are dating someone that is not I would not advise marriage because it's,
it can change but it's very hard and it's going to make all of life hard now if you are married to someone that is not a Believer lots of prayer,
not nagging but prayer
and God can do amazing things for instance my dad did not get baptized until the same day I was baptized when I was 11 years old my dad was baptized alongside me and that
that comes from a lot of prayer and,
does mom being a quiet example for him to follow he did grow up in a environment where his mom loved Jesus but he just truly did not know Jesus and,
later in his life so keep praying keep believing God can do miraculous things and he's an amazing man.
Sarah:
[50:42] Good Josh what would you add.
Josh:
[50:43] Yeah well I would say the the living by example is something not to be underestimated,
and it's even in our marriage we want our marriage to be an example for others who are looking on people are always watching people are always looking people are wondering especially,
especially Believers there looking at you and wanting to see how was he going to respond to this how are they going to react to that and so I think,
Even in our Even in our marriage as a married couple to use that as an example to others.
Sarah:
[51:20] Mmm that's good okay so I'm going to ask you a few other random questions I got to ask some of our listener friends some questions like what would they ask somebody who's been married a certain age intervals and so,
we got some good stuff so here's one this is a good one okay so we're just going to hit it real hard is marriage worth it.
Katie:
[51:40] Definitely.
Josh:
[51:41] Hundred percent.
Sarah:
[51:42] Okay you're tell me more than that what give me one one get because I think this is this is a single per year.
Josh:
[51:44] Not get this I think this is this is a single per meal because marriage was designed by God and marriage is a tool that God uses to bring glory and honor to him so it is a hundred percent worth.
Katie:
[51:58] And it becomes your life partner one someone that is there for you no matter what and I do believe that and Josh
and I I feel like encourage each other well,
it's beautiful in a relationship God always allows it to where when he is down I am generally up and can pull him back up and when I am down he can pull me back up and so someone that's just constantly they're cheering you along and everything you do.
Sarah:
[52:25] That's good I love it okay here's another one how do you keep the fire going after so many years together and kids that's a good I mean you're 20 years in that's a long time to be with somebody things have changed.
Josh:
[52:38] And we changed yeah and we've talked about this before you have to keep things fresh and new yeah and so what was it just the other day we were talking about and saying we've never done that before we should try to do a little.
Katie:
[52:50] Scuba diving but I don't want to try no snorkeling was good enough.
[53:01] Oh um I think girls,
go on a date and get dressed up look pretty for your husband put on some lipstick and get out of your yoga pants and dress up a little bit for your husband they enjoy,
they love how you look no matter what but I think it's nice to get dressed up every once in every once in a while and go on a nice hot date and.
Sarah:
[53:22] What do you wish Joshua do to keep like what would what do you tell him to say like his you want I can tell him go put on some makeup Josh.
Katie:
[53:29] Get the babysitter for me and make all the arrangements so I don't have to think about that plan the date yeah plan the date.
Sarah:
[53:36] A little planning goes a long way it doesn't have to be a huge thing right just show some initiative and thought is huge.
Katie:
[53:42] Yes.
Sarah:
[53:43] Acts of service I love it okay so here's a great one,
what advice so for our friends listening that we said that are not married yet single dating what is just some advice that you would give them for the season,
they're in right now while they're just either waiting and sometimes we think and so all of our single friends I want you to hear me say something
it is not wrong for you to be single and I don't I think there is a false perspective
active that says that you just you just always waiting for that relationship our culture even though it's shifted some still kind of tells us that your life is only only a man or woman is going to complete you and that's not true only Jesus is going to complete you
but that's hard but when you're waiting especially if that Desires in your heart so can you guys just speak to that a little bit what would you say to people who are just,
hanging hanging out whether they're young or older or whatever.
Katie:
[54:32] I would say you you pray and if your desire is to be married you pray for God to bring that right person to you and then don't compromise when you know the people or,
quality the characteristics that you want in that man or woman don't compromise stick to the things God knows that you desire for your heart.
Josh:
[54:54] Yeah living your life with someone for the rest of your life not something you want to settle on yeah don't don't settle for,
you know rushing into it if that's a strong desire in your heart really really make sure that it's the right one because it's someone you're going to wake up next to you for the rest of your life and go in to marriage,
assuming you're going to be married to them till the day that you move on there that's one thing that Katie and I have had from the very beginning we don't even use the d word,
around our house it never comes up and convert its not even an option yeah and you have to have that kind of very firm mindset that it's not even an option.
Sarah:
[55:39] Yeah that's good that was one of the questions that we ask is what is divorce ever an option and have you work through that so you just,
it's not okay hold on look at my questions okay oh this is a good one,
what was your last fight about how did you get over it if you can share any.
Josh:
[55:59] If it's so.
Sarah:
[56:03] Looking at each other back and forth trying to decide who's going to.
Katie:
[56:06] Which story do you want to tell no one's perfect and everyone's going to have,
it's just trying to work through it in the best manner possible with love remembering you do still love that person as you work through it and talking about it.
Josh:
[56:21] So I'll preface this by saying we honestly we don't fight a lot,
and certainly we've learned to not let it escalate to the point where we're like really at each other but I will say if,
if we're talking about some of the times we fight it's typically either early in the morning because I am I am not a morning person but I'm forced to get up early because of work or it's late at night because Kate.
Katie:
[56:49] I love to sleep.
Josh:
[56:50] Pillow and she's asleep and I.
Katie:
[56:53] And he wakes me up there.
Sarah:
[56:55] Wrong move I know enough to know that he's not.
Josh:
[56:57] And so one of.
Katie:
[56:58] The flats coming from.
Josh:
[56:59] Yeah so one of the one of the recent fights that we had was I had to get up early and I knew Katie was still asleep and I had to get into the closet,
to get.
Katie:
[57:10] Slipped on the line.
Josh:
[57:11] To get something to wear but I close the door like barely cracked open the door turn the light on to kind of reach in and grab a shirt,
and she says.
Katie:
[57:20] My eyes.
Josh:
[57:21] That light right in my eyes and I took it offensive and I'm like well I'm trying I mean how else am I supposed to get my.
Katie:
[57:28] And guess what happened sir he slammed the door wakes up the whole household there we go so how do we work through that.
Sarah:
[57:36] Did you yeah how did I appreciate you guys being real about this we're not trying to call you because you worked it through you're still sitting here they don't look angry at each other you've made up and things happen it just it's like.
Josh:
[57:46] I did apologize I did I said I'm sorry for the way that I responded this morning I was like you know that I wasn't doing it on purpose it wasn't intentional and I'm sorry.
Katie:
[58:00] He's really good about saying he's sorry I have to work on it.
Sarah:
[58:04] Would you like,
that sounds a little Josh like you,
you were apologizing for something that you probably didn't really feel like you did right you're trying to do the thing and sometimes that is not false humility that just sometimes it's like hey if that hurt your feelings I can be the bigger person say I'm sorry now Katie you and I are a little more similar personality where,
sorry it's just not an easy thing because we are right most of the time and if you're right most of the time why would you have a reason to apologize.
Katie:
[58:31] To work on that a lot Sarah how are you working on working on that Sarah,
a lot of mom amazed I think extra 15 minutes of sleep we work through it.
Sarah:
[58:47] Of a time where you've had to say sorry Katie would you like to refresh one would you like to share a moment.
Josh:
[58:52] Yes please.
Katie:
[58:54] I can't think I don't.
Josh:
[58:56] All right.
Sarah:
[58:57] Putting them on the spot they're like really really they're like later we're going to get Sarah back for all this is.
[59:07] The time goes so quick do you have just any other I've got a couple of questions but do you have anything else that you want to share on the topic of marriage or something we didn't hit that you would love to just kind of share after being.
Katie:
[59:18] A couple of things we do try to do is when he was commuting 45 minutes or so,
um he would tried to give me a call or a check in on his way home just so he and I could both verbalize a little bit,
thermostat was how things were at the house what was going on before he walked in and was slammed by three kids and his wife that was in a grumpy mood so just you know to get on the same page to hear a,
they're about and so that's a just a quick little tidbit of help also we do try to check in with each other during the day we send a lot of texts during the day even if it's
just a quick hey how was your meeting or I'm praying for you a little note of encouragement or a quick picture just as a fun memory and we do that pretty regularly just to stay,
with each other throughout the day anything else.
Josh:
[1:00:09] No I think that's good it's really important because if,
coming home to something that I'm not expecting if I'm coming home and I've had a great day and then I walk in and Katie has not had a great day,
at least the check-in before I get home gets me a gets me a in a better mindset for what for what I'm stepping into.
Sarah:
[1:00:39] It's crazy because kids can lose it about 5 minutes before it could be a great day and then all of a sudden literally 10 minutes before dad comes home it's like everybody's lost their mind and it ruins the whole entire day how does he do that Katie I don't.
Katie:
[1:00:50] It happens.
Josh:
[1:00:51] Quickly.
Katie:
[1:00:53] That's a whole nother topic say I do a parenting.
Sarah:
[1:00:57] It will bring you back for that do you have it Katie you are a reader you boys are both readers Learners do you have any like just books or resources or podcast or things that you listen to specifically the marriage or that you would recommend to our friends listening.
Katie:
[1:01:11] I like focus on the family days some good marriage podcast.
Josh:
[1:01:14] Those are really good but.
Katie:
[1:01:15] I listen to a new one I've just recently found I'll have to rooted in faith I believe it is called and it's a husband and a wife Ruth Swank and I don't remember his name but it's a great new it's a marriage when I just recently started following that I like.
Josh:
[1:01:31] I read most of my reading is around leadership books or if I'm doing podcasts it's around leadership podcast but I take it from the angle of how can I lead my family better how can I lead,
Katie are kids in addition to this the leadership qualities I'm looking for in a work environment.
Sarah:
[1:01:52] That's great and I think wives really enjoy when their husbands are able to lead and take some initiative in that area so let me ask that just talked about,
we are believers we love Jesus we serve him you guys have done that dedicated your lives to doing that in different areas of your light well your whole life,
it comes out in different ways how do you guys do that in your mood just talk about do you guys,
Bible together do you guys pray together that is one of the biggest things I know we get asked a lot about what do you guys do to kind of keep Faith Central in your marriage and in your.
Josh:
[1:02:22] So I'm going to maybe take a step back in time and give you an example you a one of my personal biggest convictions that I've ever I've ever experienced we were living in Tennessee,
and Katie had told me that she was actually going to step down,
from some of the Bible study work she was doing in a Ministry work she was doing so that I could step up to be the spiritual leader of the of the household and that,
conviction of that I had of how horrible is that of me that I've got a wife that sets the bar really high but I,
she's going to have to know she's wanted to come down so that she can respect that I need to be the spiritual leader of the household and I've actually thought about this onus leave here recently,
how do you manage being the spiritual head of the household to a wife that's in full-time Ministry.
Katie:
[1:03:25] That are strong leader personalities.
Josh:
[1:03:27] It's a big weight on my shoulders a big responsibility for my shoulders and sometimes honestly just being the head of the household doesn't mean that I can't,
you know push her forward and support her and step out of her way and let her continue to run as much as you can but.
Sarah:
[1:03:46] Okay so I want to ask you more about this but I want to ask a question because I want to clarify when you say head of the household can you kind of tell me more of,
what you don't mean because I think in marriage sometimes especially in Christian circles you'll hear the word submit and that gets a bad rap but can you just talk about when your time out hey being the head of the house leading in your home what does that mean to you Josh.
Josh:
[1:04:07] Yeah for me it simply means I like the team aspect you were talking about earlier we like we say we're Team buying them all the time like we're all in this together.
Katie:
[1:04:16] Kalin our little one will tell you I'm on the Bynum team.
Josh:
[1:04:19] We're all in this together but I think being the head of the household is,
it's my responsibility to ensure that our household is bringing our kids up in a Godly manner,
the we're ensuring that they understand that Jesus is their lord and savior and that we're working on this together.
Katie:
[1:04:41] What it does mean for me sometimes is to allow him the opportunity
to pray at dinner or to allow him the opportunity to have those devotional times at night and me not to just jump in and do it because he's more than willing if I will,
him too I've also learned like with parenting I say go ask your father,
him make some of the parenting decisions when he is around or let them know we are on the same team it's not just me.
Josh:
[1:05:09] Then I say well what do you think what yeah.
Katie:
[1:05:11] There you go but that's okay too just so he does have some say in all.
Sarah:
[1:05:17] You really hit on something and this could be a whole other podcast episode could you just talk a little more to the guys listening because what they don't know is on the front end I'm going to come on I'm going to tell all of them that I think they should grab their if they are married and they're listening or what it just grab somebody else and listen to this
with them together not in a like hey honey I need you to listen to the city,
fix yourself that is not what we want you to do because it's not your job to fix a spouse let's just be we're on a team together so we want to encourage and love them through things that we can both be doing because usually
both of us to write Katie we've got things we need to,
can you talk to the guys like what what does that look like right now for you to kind of be leading more what are some things that you are doing in your guys's home to do that and kind of Step Up the game in that area.
Josh:
[1:06:01] Yeah I'd say the first thing that I do is I pray for Katie we you know it's not,
there's one thing to pray together there's a whole nother thing for in your own quiet time,
that you're praying for your spouse and you're praying for them to hear from God and you're praying for them in their parenting as a mom that you're praying for them and their Ministries in the work that they're doing that,
that's Step One is truly get into prayer for your wife,
the other I think peace is continuing to support her continuing to support my kids and,
leading by example,
being an example to my kids of how my faith is growing being an example to my kids on how I'm going to respond in certain situations is one of the best ways that I can lead.
Katie:
[1:06:55] He also is very good at like talking to the kids about respecting me like you will respect your mom you will not talk to her that way with this is not how we treat our mother.
Josh:
[1:07:05] Yeah a lot of times I won't even say your mom when I'm talking about Katie and respect I'll say you don't talk to my wife that way even though it's my it's my own kid because no one's going to disrespect my wife including in my own household.
Sarah:
[1:07:17] Yes I think that's huge will says that a lot and our kids always like they take yes because they're like he just said.
Josh:
[1:07:25] My wife not Mom yeah.
Katie:
[1:07:28] That's true.
Sarah:
[1:07:29] I think that's great well guys this has been a lot of fun I know there's there's so many more things I want to.
Katie:
[1:07:34] I'm not ready to be done sir.
Sarah:
[1:07:36] Going to have to do a part 2,
so the show is called now that something good so you guys have already shared so many good things but do you have just like what's going on in each of your guy's life that just be something good there's no can be anything I don't ever want to preface it for people so I'm like just whatever seems good,
share something.
Katie:
[1:07:56] So hard there is so many good things.
Josh:
[1:07:58] Yeah I'll say 20 years of marriage is good and that still fresh were in our 20th year but also say it's Super Bowl weekend that's true and so that's something good I'm excited about that.
Sarah:
[1:08:08] That's good that's fair I like it Josh Katie.
Katie:
[1:08:11] This is the day this is the day that the Lord has made you should sing you sing better than me no not song We Will.
Sarah:
[1:08:20] Got a rejoice in the day.
Katie:
[1:08:21] So my mom used to Wake Me Up singing that song as she would open the blinds and then I try to do it now to my son especially my 13 year.
Josh:
[1:08:30] Get in trouble for just flipping the closet light on.
Katie:
[1:08:31] Good it is good this is the day the Lord had made and there's always something we can rejoice and be glad in and that is something good say.
Sarah:
[1:08:38] That is something good Josh Katie thank you so much for being here with us today it's been great can we let our friends follow you on like social media we tell them where you live where you work.
Josh:
[1:08:48] Yes.
Katie:
[1:08:48] You may find me on both insta and Facebook and you will not find Joshua.
Josh:
[1:08:53] You can find me in a text string if I give you my phone number but other than that yes please.
Sarah:
[1:09:01] Katie will get you connected to Katie and you can connect with them both awesome thank you guys for being here today.
Katie:
[1:09:05] I haven't uh Sarah and will it was our pleasure.