Both Brandon and Phoenix have a deep passion for laughing, experiencing adventure, and loving others well. They are practically newlyweds, having just celebrated their one year anniversary a few months before this recording. But don’t let the age of their marriage fool you - the Johnson’s are wise beyond their years and that wisdom shines through this episode.
In part two of this two-episode recording (go back and listen to part one), the Johnson’s finish telling their engagement story - with a funny twist! You will hear how finding their own identity and getting to know each other well before marriage has helped them thus far. With many adventures - and laughs along the way - the Johnson’s cover more ground and offer incredible wisdom for singles, those dating, and seasoned married couples.
Favorite quotes from the episode:
From Phoenix:
“Healthy conflict will lead to intimacy.”
“God is the only one who can handle all of our stuff.”
“When you’re dating someone you need to see them in a harder time.”
“The most average game of checkers can end in so much laughter.”
“For those who are single out there, God has such a plan.”
“Marriage ministry starts in your singleness.”
“Sometimes we want to go from mountain top to mountain top. But God is at work in the valleys.”
“Become who you are supposed to be in your calling with Him.”
“Enjoy singleness. It’s amazing.”
From Brandon:
“It’s just been a joy serving alongside Phoenix.”
“If you want God’s blessing you have to do it His way.”
“We’re under the Lord’s authority before we’re under each other’s authority.”
“The right type of person is more important than ‘finding the one.’”
“Who you marry is the 2nd most important decision in your life.”
Fun things from the episode:
Brandon was on Episode 3. Listen here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1175135/5056091
Joshua Harris’ book Boy Meets Girl https://amzn.to/2PJWuNH
Rocky Films https://amzn.to/3buJ54I
Brandon & Phoenix have an Air BnB https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/28607052
View part one on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YxUYgCDSIyE
View this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOBQZeFOoXo
Listen to part one on your favorite podcasting platform: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1175135/8049493
Share your thoughts: podcast@sarahgood.com
Now That's Something Good Podcast by Sarah Good is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0
Show notes may contain affiliate links. This is at no extra cost to you but does help support telling more stories that bring more good. Now that is something good! Thank you for your kind support.
Both Brandon and Phoenix have a deep passion for laughing, experiencing adventure, and loving others well. They are practically newlyweds, having just celebrated their one year anniversary a few months before this recording. But don’t let the age of their marriage fool you - the Johnson’s are wise beyond their years and that wisdom shines through this episode.
In part two of this two-episode recording (go back and listen to part one), the Johnson’s finish telling their engagement story - with a funny twist! You will hear how finding their own identity and getting to know each other well before marriage has helped them thus far. With many adventures - and laughs along the way - the Johnson’s cover more ground and offer incredible wisdom for singles, those dating, and seasoned married couples.
Favorite quotes from the episode:
From Phoenix:
“Healthy conflict will lead to intimacy.”
“God is the only one who can handle all of our stuff.”
“When you’re dating someone you need to see them in a harder time.”
“The most average game of checkers can end in so much laughter.”
“For those who are single out there, God has such a plan.”
“Marriage ministry starts in your singleness.”
“Sometimes we want to go from mountain top to mountain top. But God is at work in the valleys.”
“Become who you are supposed to be in your calling with Him.”
“Enjoy singleness. It’s amazing.”
From Brandon:
“It’s just been a joy serving alongside Phoenix.”
“If you want God’s blessing you have to do it His way.”
“We’re under the Lord’s authority before we’re under each other’s authority.”
“The right type of person is more important than ‘finding the one.’”
“Who you marry is the 2nd most important decision in your life.”
Fun things from the episode:
Brandon was on Episode 3. Listen here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1175135/5056091
Joshua Harris’ book Boy Meets Girl https://amzn.to/2PJWuNH
Rocky Films https://amzn.to/3buJ54I
Brandon & Phoenix have an Air BnB https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/28607052
View part one on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YxUYgCDSIyE
View this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOBQZeFOoXo
Listen to part one on your favorite podcasting platform: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1175135/8049493
Share your thoughts: podcast@sarahgood.com
Now That's Something Good Podcast by Sarah Good is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0
Show notes may contain affiliate links. This is at no extra cost to you but does help support telling more stories that bring more good. Now that is something good! Thank you for your kind support.
Brandon:
[3:52] So nervous I get I say,
all right everybody I've got an announced and I get on my knee and I proposed and it was a beautiful moment,
and I forget what I said I think I forgot I wrote down all these notes and I just but I did say I love you and I did ask you if you'd spend the rest of your life with me and then,
give me the tell the the funny part Phoenix is like shut up don't tell the spa,
so I'm a little bit of a prankster Phoenix and I both are we loved,
joke around with each other and be goofy well I get this bright idea that I am going to act like
I dropped the ring over the side of the hot air balloon so I provide it down on me I proposed and it's a rose gold diamond ring and so after,
she says yes I don't like do what the typical guy would do which is take the ring out and put it on her finger,
I just closed up the box and it was really quick and put it in my pocket and then gave her a big,
hug and a big kiss and then while I'm doing that I pull out the fake ring for my other pocket which is also rolls gold and diamond well it's fake it was like four dollars on Amazon,
pull out the fake one while I'm high-fiving people and I high-five somebody with the ring in my hand,
and in the ring box and it drops over the side of the hot air balloon in Phoenix you can should see her face she she thought her ring was gone.
And everybody did nobody knew about.
[5:20] And then after about 5 Seconds of making everybody squirm I was like I'll just kidding just kidding.
But one way that you know Phoenix is amazing and I just thought this was so awesome she.
She thought her engagement ring was gone and all of a sudden she's like that's okay I don't need a ring I'm fine I don't need a ring she's just was like.
Sarah:
[5:42] Phoenix that's really.
Brandon:
[5:43] That's how I know she loved me too she moved from Southern California to St Louis Missouri and she was still down even if the ring was overboard but then I pulled out the real one and gave it to her and so it was.
Sarah:
[5:53] Phoenix you're quite the saint here I feel like yours.
Phoenix:
[5:55] Their thought was let's send just a search committee to go you know find this ring so everybody come join so I had another thought to was it just angelic.
Sarah:
[6:04] So tell us from your I mean like were you totally like did you see it did you think at any point like this was gonna happen.
Phoenix:
[6:11] No I literally had
bench because at that point once we talked about engagement it was hard for me because I had again been very committed to where I was at I was helping lead an organization in California and felt like that's what I was supposed to be doing
for my life so I wouldn't let myself think toward the future until it got to that point I wouldn't let my mind wander because that's for girls it's easy to let your mind wander,
so I wouldn't let myself think about that until we had that conversation so once we did it like hit me so hard that this is going to mean,
me moving this is going to mean me setting down some things that I love and
like leaning on God and so for me it was like okay I needed a process I was encouraged to do like this 30 Day prayer journal and like really process it and
along the way I feel like God confirmed everything of us being together but it was like a couple days before the
The Purge and I was over that he proposed and so I was literally some so surprised that it happened so quick and I think God discarded my mind to where I didn't see all these Clues.
Sarah:
[7:10] Yeah.
Phoenix:
[7:12] Zero idea and so for me I hindsight I'm like oh this makes sense because my friend,
me get my nails done she said it was going to be for another wedding that we're going to both be in and I was like,
I guess it's spending time with you okay and so like did not read into that and then also like,
I didn't read into all the people that were going to go on the hot air balloon with us we're asking me like so how did you guys meet like asking all these questions about our relationship and I just thought they thought we were cute.
So I didn't read into that either so literally I was so,
and then he threw like a surprise engagement party after which was all themed and it was so amazing and my family was there it was.
I know it sounds like I'm really high maintenance because of this proposal but I did tell one friend one time that this is what I dreamed of but that it was a little too high maintenance that it I didn't hold on to it,
like that he proposed that way was actually a surprise.
Sarah:
[8:10] I don't feel like it's high maintenance I feel like the proposal is the one time that like you really should no offense to any guy listening or girl if you didn't get this big huge story it's special because it's your story so like whatever it is.
I think there is something cool to so if you have yet to propose to somebody in your listening like
let's do it right guys like live up to Brandon standard here now I'm skating don't do it do it right do the things so Phoenix I want to talk so after this you guys were engaged you're going to get married we'll talk about that here in a second but you're you
talked about something your whole life you were moving here to st. Louis from again California.
Phoenix:
[8:44] Yeah.
Sarah:
[8:45] Sorry but tell a little bit like just about that whole transition moving here because you moved here a little bit before you guys actually got married to be able to kind of,
settled a little bit but just talk about how did you feel about that because you literally moved across the country had to leave a lot of friends leave a job you love Ministry loved just talked about that.
Phoenix:
[9:05] Yeah I think it was quite the process that I had to feel fully
again I did that 30 Day prayer Journal which helped so much and I just asked God what do you have like I will drop everything and I had to come to this place that I was going to go either way for whatever God had
because I know his plan is the best and so at this point I feel like I was supposed to be so only just happy.
[9:29] But because of this mixed feeling of being really sad I like was also very sad and I cried a lot and,
you know like I feel like I was letting some people down on my team and just talk to them a lot but I think I let myself feel that and I know that the reason why it hurt so bad is because I,
I did have a lot of roots deep there and but I did also feel like,
once I process this with God that he actually was calling me to this and specifically to work with,
teens like I needed to know that for myself I didn't need it I didn't want to just fit into his world go to just his church just his ministry I needed to know that this is what God had for me to which is,
so much because it could in hard moments you know when you're feeling like you're Miss home or whatever,
to know for a fact that I've been called to this then I had so much Assurance to go into it fully free and not looking back so
that helped a lot and had a lot of great friends that have just been
Sookie in the process and obviously had come and done trips here a lot and you guys helped that process as well a very welcoming church that we go to and,
I had already known some Youth and things where it felt like more like home versus a brand new place.
Brandon:
[10:45] When she would come visit while we were dating you know she would come to Youth and,
she's just natural at Ministry so she'd be wanting to pray for girls and stuff and I remember telling her I'm like don't pray for anybody don't try to get close to anybody I was so like I was.
Sarah:
[11:01] Yeah yeah well.
Brandon:
[11:01] Protect our youth just in case we didn't you know end up getting married I wasn't that mean to but I was.
Don't sit on the front row I'm slow while I'm preaching.
Phoenix:
[11:12] Literally girls are like pouring their hearts out I'm like don't pray for them don't pray for them I gotta.
Brandon:
[11:18] Actin are our youths Hearts because you know we were just dating but when she came here and we were engaged we went to summer camp together,
that was probably one of the highlights for for us like kicking off our ministry together and it's just been a joy like serving alongside of Phoenix and she really is called to,
Ministry and God is using her in an amazing way at our church.
Sarah:
[11:40] She very much is and all over a lot of places.
Love it okay so tell us just real quick about the wedding and where it was at just a few for all of the wedding lovers on here Phoenix we just need a few wedding details tell us that information.
Phoenix:
[11:55] Yeah well everything from the beginning to the end was a blessing honestly we got so much favor we had so many friends helping and did a lot of the details we couldn't have made it happen without them and so I mean,
not that this is why you have Community but because of some great Community we,
so many blessings it was such a beautiful day it was outdoors in the beautiful California,
whether it's actually kind of hot that day but it was beautiful and we again art we are I feel like we're somewhat fun people and we try to have really fun elements so we his.
Sarah:
[12:31] You are fun people they're very fun.
Phoenix:
[12:33] His family loves the rocky Series so our grand entrance was with smoke bombs in the Rocky theme music and boxing gloves and each of our
regiments and groomsmen like came in and we're like boxing each other I love that part we had a like surprise dance we did bye bye bye dance.
[12:51] Bridesmaids and groomsmen that was super fun and I feel like one thing that was really cool that I,
well always cherish and it was a very much something that God led me to was and I for any of you young girls out there that are listening that would want to do this I think this really helps your heart in the process and just give it to God while you're dating before you give your heart to a man,
I had a journal that I would write to my future husband a lot more times it was just me talking to God and processing,
dating and things in my heart and things that I learned from other marriages including my parents marriage and I got to write my vows in that and at that was like I had waited to give that to him since I was a junior in high school
and got to write my vows and read those out
of that so that was really really special so many cool God moments in the midst of it we actually did a like a little family reunions that we called it family Olympics the day before what's really just
like actually connected our families some family that had not been connected for many years and didn't talk to each other and we just,
we covered the wedding and prayer from the beginning and that really helped the wedding planning process as well just be more peaceful and remember what it's all about but just that the day that wedding everybody,
people that we would never think would talk to each other because I hadn't for so many years were dancing on the dance floor together were being friends and hanging out and I was just so so incredible so.
Brandon:
[14:19] Is the greatest day of my life besides the Browns beating the Steelers in the playoffs this past year that.
Phoenix:
[14:24] Going to be one you accepted Jesus into your heart.
Brandon:
[14:26] No it was an amazing wedding God's God's blessing was all over it I think,
I always tease Phoenix that whenever something good happens in our life like it's good to be married to me because God God blesses me and you get to be a part of it but I think it's really the opposite like even our vacation we just took I feel like being married to Phoenix,
there's just the favor of God is on her life and I get to partake in that because I'm her husband but,
day was just God's hand was all over it like like my family's got a lot of divorce and a lot of dysfunction and just to see all sides of my family come together and be dancing together.
Bumping each other on the Dance Floor was amazing but yeah it was just an amazing an amazing wedding so I think God's grace He blesses us even when we don't deserve it,
and I think God also honors obedience sometimes when he do it his way and so,
encouraging all you guys out there do it God's way and if you want God's blessing you got to do it God's way you know but he still does have Grace and blesses us even when we don't deserve it but,
there are rewards for diligently seeking the Lord and doing it his way and not that we were perfect but I felt like that was a reward from the Lord that day the amount of joy that was there.
Sarah:
[15:40] It was a beautiful day I hope we'll get the will share some pictures with you all on social so you can see some of their wedding picture so okay so you've been married now that was what was your wedding day August.
Brandon:
[15:51] August 2000 19.
Sarah:
[15:52] Okay August 2nd okay I was like hold on this date for August 2nd 2019 so it's been a year and a half,
okay so just let me ask this question about a year-and-a-half of marriage what has been the most surprising thing about being married that maybe you didn't think would be or just something something surprising can be be anything.
Brandon:
[16:15] Phoenix you go first.
Sarah:
[16:16] Hahaha.
Phoenix:
[16:17] I think it goes with like my greatest lesson is how much communication actually is,
so important people always say that but I'm like I used to think I was a lot better than I than I am,
my junk has come out in marriage and I think that always I was always scared to share that with anybody I didn't
people to see my junk I knew that God loved that and me and God were good but I didn't think I could ever share that with somebody else
and when you marry the right type of person you don't have to be scared about that Brandon so humbly welcomes my emotions in my feelings and my,
insecurities my sin like he just loves me through it and I think when we did premarital counseling he would say like,
healthy conflict will lead to intimacy and so I think we're a lot of people are scared to show their real stuff but when you are taking it to God but also,
there's a healthy place to also take it to your spouse and so that's been a really surprising and how he's reacted to those things I always thought that would push him away but in reality it's really helped us and I think.
[17:31] Again just making sure I'm going to God in those moments as well helps helps a lot and yeah how good communication was I thought I needed to process everything with God first and make it look really good before I took it to Brandon,
but there's actually a very good healthy like obviously God's only one that can handle all of our stuff,
but there's also a good healthy amount to tell your spouse when you're going through stuff as well so.
Sarah:
[17:58] Absolutely Brandon what about for you what was one of the most surprising things about the being married.
Brandon:
[18:02] It's it was surprising but also we kind of we all know it right the importance of being humble and
marrying somebody with humility and I knew that but I didn't know that and now that we've been married a year and a half it's I mean conflict is inevitable,
but when you're married to somebody that is willing to admit when they're wrong and is willing to apologize to you and apologize to the Lord,
and it was just like a whole new level of being equally yoked I know we say that in church a lot but being on the same level spiritually,
not like we're super spiritual just that,
it were under the Lord's Authority before were under each other's Authority in a sense and so just the importance of being married to somebody that has a strong relationship with God because,
there's so much trust I have in Phoenix because I know what type of person she is and she's just easy to get along with we do have conflict But to answer your question is surprising how much,
that quality of humility and it and being able to admit when you're wrong and to humbly resolve conflict was,
important but not as it was way more important than ever imagined.
Sarah:
[19:19] Yeah that's good so I want to bring up something Brandon at this okay when you were back on our show he was Brandon was like episode number I think you're like
two or three I have to go back will post it in the show notes if you did not listen to Brandon's solo episode go listen to it he sure just a lot of really great,
great insights great wisdom but I want to help you guys got to experience something before you even got married that a lot of couples,
maybe experience sometimes still there a little further in and just going through a hard kind of traumatic grief situation Brandon you lost your sister a few years back,
and you guys were dating in the process of that and so I would just we don't talk about a long time but just love Phoenix I'm gonna start with you just what did you learn about.
God in those moments how to love somebody when they're going through something incredibly incredibly hard what would you just share because we're all going to have that happen in some way shape or form how did you.
Phoenix:
[20:12] I think I mean it's cheesy but two words is Holy Spirit a lot of times I didn't know what to do I didn't understand I didn't have denote a thankfully I got to know his sister a little bit but I didn't know her close to anywhere near what,
how they knew her what they were feeling
and so a lot of times I didn't feel equipped I didn't know what to do especially from a far distance and so I would just pray and I just ask God what am I supposed to do and there's a lots of times where he said just keep supporting and loving,
and so I try to find little ways to do that like I sent his sister something in the hospital I messaged her prayers message him and his family prayers
um and so I mean that's continued into into marriage there's I know that he's always,
thinking about her there's not a time I think so many people don't know when to say something and a lot of times you think you are on the side of not saying anything at all but reality is they're always thinking about it,
and it's just like something where I just asked the Holy Spirit and that moment like should I say something or should I not but I think more than anything,
and you can see you know correct me if I'm wrong it means more to them that you do remember that you do think about that and don't just forget that that something because it's a big deal to them.
[21:27] And so yeah just continuing to be there for him and the family and I just I didn't know that if we were going to,
make it as far as like dating you know as a really really hard time but I think also and I say this for any of our youth girls like when you're dating someone to really know if they're the person you need to also,
see them in a harder time I didn't know this was going to obviously happen but I saw Brandon and a very very hard time and,
his in a past relationship the reason it didn't work out was because in a hard time that person went away from the Lord.
[22:05] But right after she passed the next thing that Brandon spoke about was God's goodness even when we don't,
and that was all I needed to know that he had that character that was going to always go to God and hard times because that's what Define somebody what you who you are in those
times and so I think that gave me a lot of confidence and I kept just trying to ask questions you know in
try to remember those important holidays and things that he would remember and try to honor her and those in those times as well so a lot of times I didn't know how to do it best but I just ask God
and I feel like he would give me ideas or told me to hold my tongue in certain times and so I would just go off of that.
Sarah:
[22:44] It's good Phoenix Brandon what would you say just as a person who were,
unfortunately the person that had to go through the really hard thing how was that what what things would you encourage a spouse or a friend or a partner just what was helpful about what Phoenix would do or is there anything that you had to learn along with be like hey maybe don't do that or.
Brandon:
[23:03] You know no not nothing really specific pops out I just know she was so supportive.
In her prayers and encouragement like there would be sometimes I'd be like I don't feel like talking about it or you know please don't do that or I don't know but she was awesome and supportive and you know it was.
Such a mix of emotions because like you're falling in love and you're about to get engaged and.
And then you have all that sadness as well and so is really weird how it could be like excuse me the best year of your life but the worst year of your life at the same time and so.
But yeah she was extremely supportive sorry I'm getting choked up but Phoenix also had a lot of a mix of emotions to like she left her church she left her best friend she left her job,
and then she was also getting married to me which obviously I'm the best thing that's ever happened to her sorry I'm just I'm joking to try to make myself stop.
We both had like the greatest year of our life but also the saddest year of our life at the same time so I don't know it's weird how that happens maybe it was the Lord.
I'm sure it was he's in control so he kind of knows the timing and how all that stuff works.
Sarah:
[24:22] Mmm well thank you Brandon I know that's a hard,
good thing to talk about but I think you touched on something so great that we've talked about this kind of been a theme on the podcast for those of you haven't listened to other episodes go back and listen to it you'll kind of hear this is that God really has built us I think,
in his sovereignty that we can have two very Polar Opposites of emotions happening at the same time that we can hold
deep grief and sadness but the same time hold deep joy and excitement and hope for the future and I think as you said both of you in very different ways or having to live that out kind of simultaneously and I'm sure,
your marriage right now is stronger for it and your 10-year anniversary or 20 or 40 50.
[25:07] Hopefully get to like 60 70 years is going to be stronger because of those things and how you guys carried each other and handle each other so for those of you listening I mean we do sometimes really hard things happen in the midst of our walk and we're walking with
people and they think just like you said Phoenix kind of giving space and asking,
what are they what are they needing and also knowing that sometimes the person going through the thing isn't going to always know and sometimes just being there is the best thing that you can do for that person and like I said following the holy,
and praying and just saying Hey What Can I Do how can I come alongside you and I think it's a great conversation if you guys are listening to ask those questions ahead of time like hey if something hard,
just in time I,
how do you deal with sadness because everybody deals with that how do you deal when you're upset like everybody processes that totally differently and having those conversations ahead of time
might help you know like okay when they get angry they just want to be alone and they're not mad at me and they're not upset but this is how they're processing and it's okay and I'm going to
be strong enough and who I am and who I am in Christ to give them the space and not freak out that they hate me or whatever vice versa.
Sgf-Plug:
[26:15] Just interrupting this conversation to tell you about something good Fridays,
my mom and dad often ask us to tell them something good from our week it is our way of sharing and focusing in on the good things we'd love for you to join us this Friday create a story or post on Instagram or Facebook sharing your something good,
make sure to tag now that something good so we can see celebrate with you and share as well,
and you never know when we will pick one of you to send a little something good to let's start the weekend Strong by feeling everyone's feeds with all kinds of good things now let's get back to the episode.
Sarah:
[26:48] I'm going to hard shift this gear cell from something sad to something happy so something I love about Brandon and Phoenix is I really think you guys are a lot of fun you guys have some of the most interesting like,
dates experience is so much talk about two things one you brought up your guys's love for practical jokes,
so let me just start there I want to hear what's the best practical joke that you guys have played on each other.
Phoenix:
[27:17] Well I always knew that I wanted to get Brandon back from you know the hot air balloon situation,
um I thought about faking a pregnancy but I'm like that's too mean I got us to do something a little less than that,
and so I he always scares other people when they come to visit his home with fake snakes he puts
snakes and in the tub he puts them in their beds and so I was like I'm gonna get him back with his own joke so I looked for a remote control snake but none of them looked realistic but I found this really realistic
tarantula and so one.
Sarah:
[27:50] Seen this tarantula.
Phoenix:
[27:50] Yes yes your family has experienced it they help me actually order it thank you good kids so,
yeah he didn't know the right time to do it but my family was there at that moment and we were like playing with it outside trying to make sure we knew how it worked well he all said and walked out so I quickly put it under his car,
trust perfect because I didn't realize he was going to his trunk so he goes to his trunk might our dogs also there and I make the,
the spider comes out he jumped so high and screamed and our dog actually jumped really high in the air and it was so good we almost caught it on film but my sister laugh so hard that she like missed it,
it was really good I've never seen him jump so high.
Sarah:
[28:28] How do you feel about that one Brandon.
Brandon:
[28:30] All I can say it was probably a manly scream that's all I can say.
Sarah:
[28:33] Hey you know what owner it's got to own it that's good okay bring the whites and blacks best prank you pulled on Phoenix.
Brandon:
[28:40] The hot air balloon one will is just its class.
Sarah:
[28:44] Can you call that a prank I feel like that's like a surprise I don't know if that.
Phoenix:
[28:48] A drink I would say.
Brandon:
[28:49] Did I have I pranked you more.
Phoenix:
[28:51] Oh I'm sure I'm trying to think of a good one.
Brandon:
[28:53] Think of any good ones that I've done to you.
Phoenix:
[28:56] I mean more of our joking has to do with we put bets on everything so if there's if we play a game of checkers the loser has to do something like for him he had to put a bunch of peanut butter on himself for losing and run in the middle of a dog park.
Brandon:
[29:10] That was the worst.
Sarah:
[29:11] Wait hold on gonna need some.
Brandon:
[29:14] Peanut butter all over my arms and legs and my face and I had to go into this dog park and of course we asked the owners of those okay but like tens of like 10 dogs were like licking me at simultaneously to get all this peanut butter.
Sarah:
[29:27] We're going to have a video clip of.
Phoenix:
[29:29] Yes video will send it to you later.
Brandon:
[29:32] I beat her the other night at a game and her consequence she had to go to Walmart and get a stranger to scratch her back.
Phoenix:
[29:38] It's very awkward.
Yeah so I mean more than practical jokes we just do a lot of those but it honestly makes our relationship so much more fun the most average game of checkers could end in like so much laughter so it's so fun so,
he's introduced that to my life and it's made everything more fun.
Sarah:
[29:58] Okay I feel like you could start a whole like list of just like your bets like here's some fun day today Adventures do this and here's a Twist you could have a whole side company okay so Phoenix you have a great love for all things themed.
Which I appreciate like I really do like so I'm not like I think this is great I love a good part we've talked about this,
both have a love for party planning wedding planning all things you know it all down to the very small details so I love this about you so tell me a couple of your theme dates are themed experiences that either you've met Brandon do or just in general.
Phoenix:
[30:32] Well he knows that that is my love so he's actually playing some really great date,
one of those dates which will always stay in my memory is someone told us we should try this restaurant called hobos so he thought okay I'm going to pick her up okay Phoenix dressed as a hobo we're going to dresses hobos and go to this restaurant,
named hobos well he thought hobos meant redneck so he dress and boots and like a flannel I knew hobo to be as like homeless so I just was like,
hipster homeless person and we show up I'm like what are you wearing,
but we ended up eating there and he brought us these fake like snaggletooth teeth and we had to wear them while we ordered our food and so it made the waitress like die laughing and then after we went to the store and we had it like kept,
like like telling each other to go ask somebody a question with our teeth in and you can't like break a smile and so that was fun and themed which is really really fun and then,
we did a heated a burger theme one time and so we watch good A little clips of Good Burger on the way to.
Sarah:
[31:37] Burger thing.
Phoenix:
[31:37] Different burger places so steak burger.
Brandon:
[31:41] At the best steak burger so into Steak and Shake Culver's Freddy's somewhere else I.
Phoenix:
[31:47] Yeah so usually when we have a theme date we either dress like it talk we talk about stories so I think we probably talked about Burger stories or best burgers we've ever had and then we raided three different burgers and try to figure out the best so,
that was fun because it's all we're like all in and it was all nicely planned and so fun so.
Brandon:
[32:07] We went on a golf date went to the driving range and then we went to play putt-putt and then we dressed as golfers.
Phoenix:
[32:11] This is golfers talked about golfing stories.
Brandon:
[32:14] And then I remember at Putt-Putt we made a bet and you I had to beat you by like 10 strokes and you and I only end up beat me by like one barely and I played golf in high school so that was really embarrassing but I think I had to do something crazy.
Phoenix:
[32:27] You got to grow out your beard.
Brandon:
[32:29] Oh I did yeah she loves when I have a beard I.
My beard is itchy and red no offense redheads but I had to grow up my beard I think for like 10 days or something it's.
Phoenix:
[32:40] Yeah yes.
Brandon:
[32:42] Pray for my pray for our marriage.
Sarah:
[32:43] For your marriage I love it I feel like this keeps things like you know just fun do you do this like you guys got to try to have like a date night once a week what's the give us.
Brandon:
[32:52] Not necessarily A themed date night that's a lot of work you know.
Phoenix:
[32:55] What we try to do.
Brandon:
[32:57] It's a lot of creativity for somebody that's not that creative talking about me.
Phoenix:
[33:01] We try to do a date once a week though I mean that's our goal but it doesn't always happen but that's that's.
Sarah:
[33:08] Do you have a set night let's talk about this why would a date tell everybody listening just in your guy's perspective why would having a regular date night and what regular can be once a week even once a month just why is that important.
Phoenix:
[33:21] I feel like when you're married it's just you two it seems like why should we go on a date we're spending so much time together but this is very focused time and for a girl to specifically that's a way that girls feel pursued
it specifically call it a day it's not like we're just going to get dinner together because that's what we would have done because we don't have groceries it's,
and you know like Hey we're spending time on our marriage and together and again for us our goal is to laugh and have fun and so sometimes we can be hard and so to have that time and some laughter is Sookie and we've been given that advice by married people that you should
this as a priority now because then you're actually more apt to do it when you're you have kids versus trying to start having dates when you have kids it's much harder
versus having this in our you know weekly schedule now so.
Sarah:
[34:07] Let's get okay so do you take turns planning the dates or how does this normally.
Brandon:
[34:12] Um
I think Phoenix gives me ideas don't we have a note in our phone with date ideas so sometimes she helps me out and gives me ideas she's very creative one night we had I came home and all the sudden I was entered into a Nerf war.
I will tell the whole story but anyway.
Sarah:
[34:31] We try to keep this show G / PG so if you're going to go somewhere else we can.
Brandon:
[34:35] I came home and there was a sign on the door or I came home and there was like James Bond music and there was like an army coat that I needed to put on and a Nerf gun and an headlamp and I had to like go shoot her.
Phoenix:
[34:47] No but the funny part of the story is preface the story we have an air B&B in our lower level of the house.
Sarah:
[34:53] Oh yeah.
Phoenix:
[34:54] And I planned this whole day.
Knowing having the knowledge that there wasn't going to be an air B&B guess he usually tells me but this time he forgot to tell me and so I had this set up I said the table like in front of where the air B&B guests would go and so there was literally was all dark.
James Bond music blasting and I said you can go ahead and come in well II I texted that to people came in and I almost shot them with minor.
Brandon:
[35:20] She was hiding behind the banister like.
Sarah:
[35:23] Welcome this is your inauguration to staying at our house the part of the deal.
Phoenix:
[35:27] I literally have a camo jacket on and the headlamp with like black stripes on my face I'm like if they see me they're going to not know what's happening and I don't think they spoke English so this it was probably really confused.
Sarah:
[35:38] That's hilarious I hope that you guys are all listening are taking notes here so you got some great date night ideas just now so you guys recently just got to go on vacation you literally just came back from what like two days ago through the evening.
Brandon:
[35:53] Last night.
Sarah:
[35:53] Oh was it just last night,
oh okay look you literally just got back from vacation and you're spending your first night back at the good house I love it okay so tell us a little bit couple highlights from your vacation.
Brandon:
[36:06] Well we called it our babymoon because this year we're going to God willing try to have a kid if God plaintiff.
Sarah:
[36:14] Very excited.
Brandon:
[36:15] Yes and so we wanted to get out that last like go hard adventurous.
Sarah:
[36:19] Yeah.
Brandon:
[36:21] Vacation so we went to the big island of Hawaii for six days then we went over to kawaii for three days and it was literally we got up at 6:30 a.m.
High went to the beach we went to Volcano National Park we went scuba diving.
Sarah:
[36:36] Yeah it's amazing.
Brandon:
[36:37] So we'd get up early and stay out stay up late doing the same thing the next day pack
launch everywhere we went didn't even have time to stop and eat the two highlights all share my highlight that I know what your highlight is my highlight was we went scuba diving at night 30 feet,
under the ocean,
and we swam with manta rays which are not dangerous to people which is good but they were like 15 feet wide they weighed 1500 pounds and they're like swimming an inch away from your head so if you're looking for things to put on your bucket list.
Swim with the dive with the manta rays on the big island of Hawaii.
Sarah:
[37:13] I'm not sure that that's going to be on my bucket list but that would take your word for it.
Phoenix:
[37:17] You can just watch a video on YouTube over it or our.
Sarah:
[37:19] Yes I just watched your video I did watch your video actually it's great it was felt like I was there it's all I need Phoenix was a highlight for you.
Phoenix:
[37:25] Well Brandon didn't love this
this experience as much as me but we got to go on a helicopter and look over the Kawaii all over all Kawaii and got to see the Grand Canyon of kawaii which is so beautiful and it was the most amazing experience being up there just seeing all of
God's creation and how I mean it was so massive it just is a good reminder of God's that much more Majestic and big
and it was just so so cool such a cool experience I know we're so lucky that we got to do that and yeah that was my that was my highlight.
Sarah:
[37:59] So I feel like I'm going to make you guys because we had a little conversation before we hit record and you guys are talking about the helicopter ride what Brandon would you like to tell us a little more yeah I feel like this is a great lesson.
Brandon:
[38:08] I tried to get Phoenix to like body surf a wave was like a one foot wave and she was terrified she thought she was gonna die and go to heaven from the one foot wave,
because she was in control right and then I'm like what is wrong with you and then we get on the helicopter and it's kind of windy.
And she's totally cool and I'm like squeezing her hand freaking out like what am I doing up in the air when it's this windy and a stinking helicopter,
so we realized that Phoenix is afraid of things she can control and I'm afraid of things I can't control so I don't know how that's going to play out in our marriage but that's one thing we learned about each other this vacation.
Sarah:
[38:45] It's a great realization that's a good so if you're afraid of things you can control.
Phoenix:
[38:51] Yes I'm terrified if I'm on a ladder and I could make myself all but I can go on the highest roller coaster and be totally okay I don't know how that works.
Sarah:
[38:59] This is okay that's an interesting I'm liking that that's a good.
Phoenix:
[39:02] That.
Sarah:
[39:04] I probably fall more like Brandon the hi I'm not in this thing I'm not in control and it's going to take me down.
I love it okay we've covered a lot of ground is there anything that you all want to share that we did not get to talk about yet any other tips advice just anything any stories you want to share.
Brandon:
[39:23] I would say I don't necessarily believe there's one person out there for it for you.
But I do think they're God wants you to choose the right type of person and so like Phoenix might disagree with me about that now I will say I do think God put us together,
got like crossed our paths and I do think me sliding into her DMS was God LED.
Sarah:
[39:48] Yeah.
Brandon:
[39:49] God was guiding my fingertips on my cellphone but so I do think God put us together and I obviously am so glad that I waited for,
the right type of person and Phoenix and and,
but I do think God wants us to use our brain and choose and especially the dudes like it's our job to pursue a girl and ask her out on a date and but I would just say the right type of person is more important than finding the one,
look at the character traits look how they treat their family look how they treat their friends how are they when things go bad how are they when nobody's you know watching or get to know their character let dating be a fun process,
really let it be a process where you get to know the right type of person and as you date the right way and date wisely God will show you if that person is right for you or not.
Yep.
Sarah:
[40:39] Phoenix you've been a huge you were telling me I've got to bring this up earlier you used to have you gotta remind me what it was was an Instagram account something for married you've been,
fan before you were married of just wanting to help poor into couples and marriages talk about that for just a second.
Phoenix:
[40:55] Yeah I think for those that are single out there like,
gotta have such a plan for me I knew God had marriage Ministry on my heart and I kept a singleness was hard and that's probably my advice would be some stuff about singleness but it was hard and that gave me so much,
just remembering like that God had that promise and that I wasn't going to be a nun if he called me to marriage Ministry some day but I just I think marriage Ministry actually starts into your single it starts in singleness
if you are becoming the person God wants you to be you're going to be healthier to than even date than that leads to marriage which leads to more and so,
doing that well and so for me I just
always wanted to learn from other married people earlier I read marriage books even before I was even dating somebody and I just wanted to get wisdom from other people that had gone before me and just promote and celebrate
marriage is hard I think it's anniversary should be celebrated more than birthdays because there's a lot more work that goes into those and something that you know.
[41:59] God willing we maybe do down the line I felt very called after my parents,
relationship long story short they divorced but got back together through a lot of prayer and it just gave me so much hope I know that the enemy loves to tear down marriages loves to tear down the church even starting with families
and so definitely feel feel called to that someday took a little break from it because I feel like there's a lot for me to learn right now
and to just fully given to you know our beginning of our marriage but maybe someday I'll pick back up God willing if that's what he has and yeah.
Sarah:
[42:35] I think that's great do you guys have one Phoenix you mentioned just the singleness you have a one more word of advice just to give people who are right now in a season of just waiting and may be struggling with that or maybe not struggling just what would you say.
Phoenix:
[42:47] Got you can go.
Brandon:
[42:49] Amigo I would say who you marry is the second most important decision in your life so it's worth waiting the first decisions obviously if you're going to serve God or not but it's worth waiting I would say
don't just hide out in the basement and wait for God to bring someone to you though like put yourself in the right areas and and God will take care of the rest I don't think online dating is bad if Phoenix and I didn't work out I was probably going to go that route,
don't think it's terrible I think it's God uses that.
But put yourself out there go get involved in a church serve if you're a dude serve on the greeting team at church you get to say hi to every person that walks in the in the church not a stalker type of way but,
put yourself out there get to know people and God has a way of crossing the.
Passed with the right person at the right time but don't just hide out in your basement so there's that fine fine line of not make not kicking the door open but at the same time God can guide a moving ship better than he can guide a ship that just sitting still.
Sarah:
[43:51] That's good I love it Phoenix.
Phoenix:
[43:54] There's so many things to say but I would leave you with enjoy your singleness and take it fully with God
marriage is not a destination it's part of the plan but singleness is very much part of the plan sometimes we want to go from Mountaintop to Mountaintop but God is very much in the valley in the developing and building your character I would not take away my single years for anything
it took me a while to see them as good it was a lot of times where it was really hard and I wondered why God are you out there I saw my friends getting married I saw,
working out for other people and I just felt like that maybe I wasn't seen or
God was holding out on me but when I when I focus on the truth that he was a good father that his timing is perfect it helped my process so much and when I fully took it for what it is it was one of the most beautiful times of my life and,
easy to against a on the other side of marriage like you know like there was eventually hope but there's a hope for everybody God gives you the desires of your heart and somebody somebody told me this one time and it stuck with me we talked to
to our youth about it this morning the I always felt bad for wanting that into like think about that all the time and I think there's a place where it becomes an idol like I realized marriage was an idol for me and that was like what I thought I needed to get to so I had to give that up but I also.
[45:10] Realize someone told me that in the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve even before sin was,
you know introduced the first longing that was there was for another person
and that was god-given and so it wasn't wrong and I was going to be done in the right timing and so just to go all in with God Surf and fully don't hold back become who you are supposed to be in your
calling with him and I feel like that's the healthiest place to even take you to the next step you know so enjoy singleness it's amazing include,
be prayerful in it especially peripheral within your dating process don't make God a separate piece of your life that's very important bringing community and have a really good friendships with
the person of the opposite sex you know having really healthy good brother sister relationships and just having good community in general.
Sarah:
[46:00] I think that's great,
guys you shared a lot of really good just tips all the things all the encouragement I love here in part of your story so the show is called now that something good so the last question we have to ask both of you before you leave is
tell us something good you've already shared a lot of good things but like well it's just one more little good tidbit you want to share you can be anything.
Brandon:
[46:20] I've got one so if you're a dude especially girls can read this too but the book by Joshua Harris called I Kissed Dating Goodbye okay don't read that but the second book The.
Sarah:
[46:32] Please get us sailed.
Brandon:
[46:34] The second book that he wrote was kind of an amend I don't even know the word amendment to what that book was it's called LG's Boy Meets Girl,
in it is a great manual for dating now I will just give this might make you not want to read it but he's no longer a pastor I don't even know if he's a Christian anymore but what I'm telling you is,
in that book is a great great guide to dating God's way
and it doesn't matter what that guys doing nowadays it I've read it numerous times I've given it to dudes Phoenix's Brothers starting to date a Christian girl and he's like what do I do and I said dude before you go on another date read this,
and it's filled with wisdom and so.
Sarah:
[47:22] That's something good it.
Brandon:
[47:22] Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris and enjoy and it'll save you a lot of trouble if you follow what he,
she the advice of and.
Sarah:
[47:33] That's awesome okay Phoenix what something good you want to share.
Phoenix:
[47:36] I am thinking of it out let's see something good I would just say.
I was going to try to think of a book too but I can't think of anything right now but,
I think honestly the something get is just Lena to God he has good things so whatever you do in this plan like Brandon said it's going to turn out good it's going to turn out fun enjoy the process of singleness enjoy the process of,
dating it's all fun it's all part of God's plan and he has something good for you.
Brandon:
[48:09] I've got one more good thing can I do.
Andy Stanley has a great sermon series out there I think it's called guardrails and then that he talks a lot about dating and he said something while you're single see if I can get it become the person you're looking for is looking for.
Something like that I think I just butchered become become the person.
Phoenix:
[48:30] Person.
Brandon:
[48:32] That you're looking for is looking for.
Sarah:
[48:35] Okay that makes it.
Brandon:
[48:36] Why you're single become the person you're looking for become the person.
Sarah:
[48:39] Yeah.
Brandon:
[48:42] That the personal my gosh.
Sarah:
[48:44] Well link it in the show notes will find the right.
Phoenix:
[48:46] It since he got one more thing can I say one more things okay the last thing if you're looking for a good series about singleness marriage dating all that,
Ben Stuart wrote a book about that and he has a great podcast as well and that was really helpful in my process of knowing who to date how to date and I think he gets some really good practicals.
Brandon:
[49:06] Become the person that you're looking for I've butchered it again.
Sarah:
[49:11] I think Phoenix doesn't literally like become the person that you want.
Brandon:
[49:15] Become the person that the person you're looking for is looking for.
Sarah:
[49:20] There you go okay yeah you got it.
Brandon:
[49:22] Trish.
Sarah:
[49:23] Brandon on that note we won't let you back for a third time no just kidding.
Brandon:
[49:28] Is nice it was nice knowing you.
Sarah:
[49:29] There's no I'll be back thank you guys so much for coming on appreciate it.
Brandon:
[49:34] Thank you for having us.
Phoenix:
[49:35] Thanks guys.